How can I get my husband with Alzheimer's to take a shower?
This is a man who showered everyday, now it's been a month and I just can't get him to take a shower, not to mention shave. I've suggested a bath, I've said I'd help him, but nothing is working. HELP!
My mother had this same issue (still does, let's be real). She went a whole month without bathing because she absolutely would not take a bath, no matter how much I tried, which included telling her she smelled awful and that the board of health was going to come in with hazmat suits to hose her down (she knew I was only HALF joking).
It took me a little while to realize that this woman who always loved baths, who used to beat my butt for not bathing daily when I was young, didn't hate baths now - she was scared of them. She was terrified of falling, but she never gave me so much as a clue, until one day she just mentioned how she hated how slippery the tub was, out of the blue.
So immediately, I got her a very sturdy shower chair and lots of those super strong, suction cup hand rails installed on the walls.
I always run the water for her before hand while she picks out her towel and clean underwear. That way she wouldn't accidentally burn herself and be turned off to the whole idea just because she forgot how to use the shower dials.
I use to try to get her to bathe at night time before bed, a ritual she's had for well over 20 years, but I soon changed that to after a light breakfast, so she couldn't argue that she was "too tired" so she'll "do it tomorrow".
Back when all that was enough and she didn't really need me to be in the bath with her, I still left the door crack and stood nearby. Told her if she was having trouble, that I'd was right there.
I've been trying to find little ways to make it easier for her to do as much as she could by herself, because for her, it was an problem with her pride and not admitting that she needed help or was having trouble.
Lots of patience and gentle persistence. She still fights me on it though. lol The reasons vary from person to person. Could it be his motor skills that are making the task a hassle? Perhaps he can't get out of the bathtub easily or can't stand in the shower for long periods of time anymore? Maybe he feels embarrassed that he needs help and wants to do it by himself? I really hope you find something that works!
Much love and positive thoughts being sent your way, Kirbee!
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It took me a little while to realize that this woman who always loved baths, who used to beat my butt for not bathing daily when I was young, didn't hate baths now - she was scared of them. She was terrified of falling, but she never gave me so much as a clue, until one day she just mentioned how she hated how slippery the tub was, out of the blue.
So immediately, I got her a very sturdy shower chair and lots of those super strong, suction cup hand rails installed on the walls.
I always run the water for her before hand while she picks out her towel and clean underwear. That way she wouldn't accidentally burn herself and be turned off to the whole idea just because she forgot how to use the shower dials.
I use to try to get her to bathe at night time before bed, a ritual she's had for well over 20 years, but I soon changed that to after a light breakfast, so she couldn't argue that she was "too tired" so she'll "do it tomorrow".
Back when all that was enough and she didn't really need me to be in the bath with her, I still left the door crack and stood nearby. Told her if she was having trouble, that I'd was right there.
I've been trying to find little ways to make it easier for her to do as much as she could by herself, because for her, it was an problem with her pride and not admitting that she needed help or was having trouble.
Lots of patience and gentle persistence. She still fights me on it though. lol The reasons vary from person to person. Could it be his motor skills that are making the task a hassle? Perhaps he can't get out of the bathtub easily or can't stand in the shower for long periods of time anymore? Maybe he feels embarrassed that he needs help and wants to do it by himself? I really hope you find something that works!
Much love and positive thoughts being sent your way, Kirbee!
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