We are moving mom into a brand new residential memory unit in two weeks. We have been talking to her about it, went and visited it, being very positive about how she will no longer be by herself, etc. What are some tips of how we can make this a positive transition for her? What can the caretakers there do? We plan to take her to daycare and pack and move her belongings so she is not part of the confusion and then pick her up at daycare and bring her there.
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Thanks for your post and in advance for any advice you may be willing to give...
I did pretty much the same thing when I had to place my Husband for Respite.
If there is anything that she asks for once you have completed the move if it is not possible come up with reasons why there are not there YET. but make them thins that will take a while. Getting a desk repaired, getting a chair reupholstered, the glass broke on in a picture frame. After a while these items will no longer be of importance to her.
This will be a bit of an adjustment for all of you.
Do not feel guilty when she begins to tell you that ...
she hates it there, she wants to go home, the food it bad, she hates you for putting her there. None of them are true...ok maybe the bit about the food!
You will also come to a point when trips out to go to the store, to a celebration with family, out to dinner will become confusing and she may become agitated. Go with the flow, change celebrations to where she is, have dinner where she is. And smaller groups of visitors. A Thanksgiving Dinner that would have 15 people around will be overwhelming break the day apart and have smaller celebrations over a few days.
The staff is used to people moving in and the upset that that can mean. Let them do their jobs. Be as nice to them as possible. Bring treats for them once in a while and thank them for all they do. They work caring for our loved ones for not a lot of money, and often caring for to many people at a time. So while it is difficult try to ignore minor things but pick your battle with major things.
Be involved, visit often and the most important thing to bring when you visit is a smile on your face and a kind word for everyone.
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