How do we "force" parents with Alzheimer's/dementia to live with us?
How do we go about getting parents that "think" they are fine coming to live with us? There is already a POA in place and has been for quite some time. Both are in ill health and have onset dementia.
I would have them evaluated by a doctor who specializes in the elderly a gereatic physician or a neurologist. Once the appointment is made, find some way to be there and go with them so that they don't miss it? The medical POA will give you the right to discuss the evaluation with the doctor in private. If one of you can't go with them, see if another relative will make sure they make the appointment.
Where do we start to get them evaluated? We had an appointment for this last year and they missed the appointment. Can their family doctor do the eval? They are about 600 miles away from us. Do we put them in a skilled care facility near their home or ours?
nana, make sure you are really ready to have your parents move in. May I suggest you read this article, scroll down over the ads to read the whole article.
Depending on how well their minds are working, you may not be able to convince them. You can't force an older adult to do anything unless they have been declared incompetent by a court. A POA does not authorize you to force them. I would suggest reading some articles here by people who have had their parents to come live with them before you do it.
Who knows how quickly the dementia will progress to the point where their care is beyond your ability and they will need a memory care unit in a nursing home. This is one thing to keep in mind. Often, people naively think that they can provide the 24/7 care that such parents need only to discover they are burnt out, full of resentment and broken financially for their own retirement.
Don't do it! In any case the first thing you need to do is think about how to have your suspicions of their dementia, and more to the point their loss of mental capacity, confirmed. Unless and until you've got that far there is nothing you can do to "force" anything.
Meanwhile, are they prepared to discuss any sort of support or care plan for themselves at home? Be careful you don't antagonise them to the point that they revoke POA and/or reject any help at all.
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When did you last see them face to face? Do you go to them or do they come to you, typically?
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Who knows how quickly the dementia will progress to the point where their care is beyond your ability and they will need a memory care unit in a nursing home. This is one thing to keep in mind. Often, people naively think that they can provide the 24/7 care that such parents need only to discover they are burnt out, full of resentment and broken financially for their own retirement.
Don't do it! In any case the first thing you need to do is think about how to have your suspicions of their dementia, and more to the point their loss of mental capacity, confirmed. Unless and until you've got that far there is nothing you can do to "force" anything.
Meanwhile, are they prepared to discuss any sort of support or care plan for themselves at home? Be careful you don't antagonise them to the point that they revoke POA and/or reject any help at all.