I'm the fulltime (24/7) caregiver for my 91 year old Grandmother who has Alzheimer's, and a ton of other medical conditions. That's already a hard enough job as it is, and I just found out that my mother who is disabled with fibromyalgia is going to be staying with us temporarily. My Dad has been working a lot of overtime, to the point where he has only had 2 days off in a month. It's gotten to the point where he's making himself sick, and I feel horrible because I can't get a job. I need to take care of my Grandma and now mother.
August 2015 I had been hit my a car while riding my bike home. That really freaked me out, and since then I get really anxious being outside. Even just walking 5 minutes to the 7-11 is hard for me. I really hate it, because I can't do any of the stuff I want to do. Such as take my Grandma to the park. I get nightmares all the time and rarely sleep well, and I get flashbacks a lot. If there's a sudden sound, or even just a bright light I just start seeing the accident again. Now because of it, I'm stuck inside just about everyday, all day long.
I tried to contact hospice to come and help me with my Grandma, and take some of the stress off me and my father. But our insurance denied us and we can't afford out of pocket. My parents don't have any friends, and I only have 3 friends. The problem is 1 my mother hates with a passion, and I don't trust around my Grandma. 1 just had a baby, and the other has to work. So it's just me.
I know my family needs me on the top of my game, especially now. I don't know how I can keep doing this, when all I want to do is sit in the dark and cry. I feel like I'm living a nightmare everyday, and there's nothing I can do about it. Most of all, I just feel guilty because I can't do more to help out my family, and because of that I've become very depressed. I know I should be able to do more, I need to. I just don't know how.
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You may be experiencing depression. Or anxiety. Or panic disorder. Or PTSD. Clearly you are having a mental health issue, and those are treatable. Do you have health insurance? In the US health insurance is required to cover mental health treatment.
You deserve to be able to enjoy going to the park. See a doctor! But don't go in with a self-diagnosis. Don't say "I have depression." List all your symptoms, how long they've been occurring, and whether there is anything that makes them worse or better. Let the doctor diagnose the problem, and recommend treatment. None of the possibilities seems to me to be do-it-yourself projects. For your sake, and your family's sake, please seek medical assistance.
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Medicare pays for hospice in it's entirety.
You say you just had a baby the deppresion is probably post natal depression and is treatable.
Where is the baby's father in this equation?
This is becoming too complicated to keep track of so I really have no more to add.
Big of her to stump up for the damage to her own car when she was speeding and hit a cyclist - I don't think. You've been robbed, our kid, unless there really is any suggestion that you were in the wrong lane or otherwise at fault. And it'd pay for your therapy, apart from anything else.
Maybe sit down with your dad and explain your situation. You're already taking care of your grandma, overtime or no overtime he needs to take care of his wife. Don't be afraid to say, dad I just can't take care of mom too.
Nicole
Ah, ok. I'll look into it, but I don't think I can afford therapy. :(
CBT stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, first developed (I believe) in the Korean War to assist with (what was not yet called) post traumatic stress disorder, which all the same was recognised as a mental injury deserving treatment. It works by identifying thought patterns and altering your response to them; and it's one of the types of psychological therapy that has proven, demonstrable effectiveness. People get sniffy about it sometimes because it doesn't probe deep into the psyche; but then again as long as it gets you out of the house will you mind if it's a bit superficial?
Um. Where does your mother normally live?