What should I prepare and bring with me to an elder law attorney show her just what we are dealing with?

Why do you want your father declared incompetent? Do your want to be his guardian? Would you like the court to appoint a professional guardian? If you were his guardian what would you do differently? Perhaps place him in an addiction treatment center? Place him in a care center? Be clear about what the ideal outcome would be before you see the lawyer.

The incompetence declaration must come from a court. Are there two different doctors who would sign statements that Dad is no longer able to look after his own affairs? Who else can testify about Dad's capabilities? As I understand it, the court will also have a doctor of their choice examine Dad.

The lawyer will explain to you exactly what the process is like, and also what your responsibilities are if you are made guardian.

Other people on this board have gone through the process and are guardians for their loved ones. I hope a few will see this post and respond.

The lawyer is going to tell you to have your Dad evaluated. Make an appointment with your Dads doctors...and go talk to him/her.

The lawyer cannot win a case seeking guardianship if there is no proof that a judge will accept.