Can anyone offer some advice that may help?

I wonder is anything can be gleaned by obtaining tax filings which if available will show the income of both spouses. Then reasonable living expenses can be calculated. Is Dad on Medicaid.? Sorry if I asked this question before.

Kind of cutting to the chase here. Bottom line is what Countrymouse alluded to. Your mom is innocent until proven guilty.

The absence of any records or documentation doesn't make your mother guilty of anything or even the presumption of guilt. Quite the contrary - you aunt must have some evidence to proceed with any legal action against your mother.

So frankly - until something is court ordered, I think I'd tell auntie to cool her jets. I guess you could give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she is acting in your fathers best interest but I'm afraid Veronica is probably right and your aunt is attempting to somehow benefit from these actions. But do definitely make sure your mom is consulting an attorney - for peace of mind if nothing else.

Sheez. Family!

I have a SIL who was married to a mentally ill man. They raised their children and then she filed for divorce. After the divorce she petitioned to be his guardian and was appointed so by the court. She still loved him and wished him well, but she did not want to be married to him. So it is certainly possible to be guardian (or, I suppose, POA) for an ex-spouse. But I can see that it would be a conflict of interest to hold POA during the divorce process.
***********
I held POA for my husband. If anyone at any time had asked me to account for how money in our joint account was being spent I'd tell them to suck eggs. That was my money, too. In fact, I was the one who was employed and making much more than my husband's SS check. I had POA so I could deal with his insurance companies and such. I would have managed our joint account with or without POA.

The conflict of interest is about as clear as it gets. If your mother had continued to hold POA for your father, she would have been divorcing the person whose best interests the POA required her to represent. Tricky even for the most conscientious and learned ethicist, I'd have thought.

What is your mother's lawyer advising her to do, I wonder? How long ago did your uncle pass away? And what happened between then and your aunt's petition for guardianship?

As far as archived records go, I suppose the only other thing your mother might do, if she felt inclined to be helpful, is ask your uncle's executor - whoever that was - what was done with his personal records. If any.

I honestly can't see what your mother can reasonably be expected to contribute to this fact-finding exercise, assuming that's what it is. How have things been left for the time being?

The reason given my mom had to sign off on poa of fin and health in order to proceed with the divorce was because my dad was mentally incompt which meant he could not sign the divorce papers and it would be a conflict of interest or something if my mom signed the divorce papers for him as well as her.

Regarding the old paper work they want the only thing i could come up with was to have my mom tell the lawyer that as legally required she transferred all her paper work to her brother( the poa that died) when she signed off as poa and what he did with it is between you and him.

The aunt petitioned for guardianship, which was granted in court. The mother still wishes to follow through on divorce proceedings; and sorting out who owns what and what the assets are is going to be necessary for that, too. I agree that going back eight years is pushing it, but I don't see any need to assume the aunt has sinister or self-serving motives. How's she going to get either job done without financial information?

I would sue that lawyer who told your mom all that malarky. None of those are reasons a person cannot be divorced.

You can be the POA for anyone. You do not need to be married to them....and if you cease to be married...you could still be the POA. Maybe she didn't want to be...but..it is nonsense that it would stop a divorce proceeding.

POA died. Auntie dearest is requesting paperwork from eight years ago when mom was POA? Not even the IRS requires financial information be kept that long. She may be trying to trick you into providing some sort of incriminating info. Get an a attorney to write her a letter stating they were still married and their finances none of her business.

Don't know where you are or the rules in your State but usually house is considered to be owned by husband and wife and the proceeds divided at the time of divorce. If Dad is in the NH on Medicaid they will have a big interest in any property. If Mom should decide not to go ahead with the divorce she will be considered the community spouse and is entitled to live in the house till she dies then Medicaid will take it's share. If Aunty thinks she can get the house put in dad's name and have it willed to her she is in for a big surprise. Get mom to a lawyer ASAP.
I don't quite understand the POA bit. Is there a law that says Mom had to give up POA if she divorces? Presumably the other family member was chosen by Dad while he was still competent as the back up POA. Did he select Aunty as an alternative POA? What rights does Mom's sister have to assume Guardianship she won't even be related once the divorce goes through. Are you the only child and an adult? Can you not assume guardianship assuming you want to.
I'm just shooting in the dark here because I don't know how this all works legally. With a joint account I would have thought Mom could spend the money any way she darn well chose. As usual I say "Follow the money" is there a large amount involved that aunty has her greedy little eyes on?

Well, your mother is innocent until proven guilty. If your aunt is trying to accuse her of theft or embezzlement, and your aunt is claiming title to the house on your father's behalf, your aunt is the one who has to produce the documents. So has she got them or not?

By the way, about the house: if your aunt is now your father's court appointed guardian, she has a legal duty to protect your father's best interests. Seen in that light, it is only proper for her to investigate what has happened previously and what assets he owns. Look on her actions as something she is doing *for* your father, not to punish or betray your mother, and I hope it will make it easier to approach the whole situation in a business-like rather than emotional way.

That doesn't mean you have to like it, of course. It's just that feeling outraged or upset isn't going to help your mother.

Does your mother have access to good legal advice?

sorry i wrote that fast and left some stuff out, My dad was declared mentally
incompetent( he has Korsakoff disease from alcohol) . At the time my mom was my dads poa of health and finances and got told if she left him he was a danger to himself and she could be charged, so he was put in an assisted living facility, tried to proceed with the divorce again only to be told that she could not divorce him unless she gave up her right as Power of attorney, My Dad had a back up power of attorney on his will( my moms brother ) who then took over.

well he died suddenly a few years ago before he got approved for guardian so that they could finish the divorce and my mom had given him all of her Poa receipts and documents.

Now my moms sister(a backstabber) petioned the courts last year to become my dads guardian promising us she would finish the divorce, is instead trying to charge my mom questioning her time as power of attorney( from 2008-2009) as mismanging my dads funds because she knows all the receipts were lost with the death of his last poa and she is also saying he is intitled to the family house which he has not lived at or contributed to in over 8 years

I agree with cmagnum above, only your Father can appoint a new power of attorney, unless there was already a secondary POA listed on the first POA.   And from what you had written, it doesn't sound possible.

Right now everything is in a mess, time for your Mother and/or relatives talk to an Elder Law Attorney to try to straighten everything out.

I am curious why it has taken so long for your Mother to get a divorce. Most States will allow a divorce in 6 months or 1 year if there are no minor children involved born to your parents. Now years later, it would be very difficult for your Mom to obtain a divorce as your Dad's memory issues had advanced. I have a feeling your Mom said "divorce" and to have someone else as POA out of fear of not knowing what to do.

She can't legally sign over his designation of her as his POA to someone else. Unless the POA document listed those people as backups, they did not have the legal right to act as his POA.