My dad just passed and my mom cries all the time and says she wants to come home from the facility she is in. What do I do?

You sound sympathetic to her request. Consider it if you can give her 24 hr per day supervision. Myself, son and daughter-in-law do this for my Mom while she is in Assisted Living. Memory Units do not give 24 hour supervision over its residents although they have staff on hand they cannot monitor each resident with 24 hr care. It is illegal to use bed guards to keep the residents in their beds. There are falls in the Memory Units some of them fatal or leading to the end of life. A friends' family moved his mother and father from a rogue Independent Living Facility where his Mother was badly hurt in a fall through the facilities careless and negligent acts and they were put in a Memory Unit where his Mother suffered even worse falls, having horrible black and blue marks all over her face and neck that looked like she was beat up and she was placed in a nursing home after she broke her hip. (She did not last long after the pile up of injuries.) I visited in two different Memory Units, each in private pay facilities with the residents mostly being on Medicare to cover medical expenses. One was worse than the other. Both were in good communities and while not the most costly of facilities they were probably mid to high end. Check very carefully on any Memory Care Unit, ask family of residents, ask people in the community or better yet, go to a community caregiver support group not associated with the facility you are considering. Another place to inquire is at a local church. My Bible Study group confirmed that the place where we were moving my Mother got good head shakes from the whole group with some participants speaking positively for the move we were about to make. Also, Look at how many residents in the Memory Unit are black and blue, or other problems on an unscheduled visit.

Wow great answers I am going to bring photo albumns I have been bringing sympathy cards and she seems to enjoy them and tell me who they are from! Yes I go every morning to have coffee with her while she is eating breakfast! Thanks for the support

I'm very sorry about the loss of your father. I can't imagine how painful that must be.

I would try to take peace in the fact that your mother is in a place where she is cared for and supervised. I'd keep in mind that with dementia, patients often say they want to go home, even when they are in their home. Of course, she's likely grieving too. I'd watch that and if it continues too long, discuss it with her doctor.  Sometimes, dementia patients are depressed and medication helps, but, it may be the grief.  I'd discuss it with her doctor. 

My condolences on the loss of your dad.

Your mom's Dr. is right. I know everything is different now that your dad isn't there with your mom but with your mom's dementia and her grief she needs 24-hour supervision now more than ever. What if you brought her home and she fell? That would be the beginning of the end for her. I hope you don't go down that road.

Are you able to increase your visits to your mom for a while? Share your grief with her and let her share her grief with you. If she's able, take her on drives occasionally, maybe through a drive-thru for some hamburgers.

Pamper her a little bit. I don't know how bad her dementia is but would she sit and let you give her a manicure? Aside from it feeling good, it's also a nice way to connect with someone.

Looking at photo albums can be bittersweet but maybe she'd enjoy looking at old family photos.

I'm not suggesting that manicures and old photos will relieve your mom's grief. They're just some ideas that may help distract your mom for a little while and to give you something to do while you visit with her.