I will just add, if there are outside services that come in to see your mom (podiatry, dentistry, audiology, behavioral health) please ask for WRITTEN reports that result from those visits.
The most difficulty that we've had over the past three years with mom in the NH have been the result of lack of communication between us and those services, because they report their results to the NH, who report them to us. In the process, important information was left out, which WAS in the written reports.
As an example, the dentist, who started seeing mom three years ago recommended pulling all of her teeth and doing complete upper and lower dentures. We were unable to contact this person directly and we did not pursue the issue. Recently, some of mom's teeth broke off. I persisted and after three months of calling and cajoling, finally got the dentist on the phone. It turns out that when he initially saw mom, nearly all of her teeth had cavities; he recommended extraction for a very good reason!
Not that we would have done it, but it would have been good to know what road we were going down at the outset.
Mom has not been long in the nursing home? The most important thing is to listen. They are telling you their observations and expressing concerns. They want to get to know your mom and you are an important tool to reach the goal of providing her the best care. Your lifetime of knowledge is very valuable to them. You are part of the team. Ask any questions that come to your mind, even the questions asked will help them get to know her.
Is this a quarterly care conference? Each discipline at the nursing home will report their observations of your mother. Dietary will say if she is eating well or not, PT will report on the progress of her physical therapy (if any), Nursing may talk about any sleep problems, rashes, etc. Activities will tell you if Mom is participating in activities and maybe what her favorites are, etc.
You may have questions based on any of the reports.
Here are some of the questions my sisters and I have asked: We have found Mom without her teeth in 3 times this month. What is happening to correct that problem?
Mom is really enjoying the musical entertainment. Thank you for bringing her to these events.
Mom's rash seems to be getting worse. Is there something else that can be tried?
In other words, ask any questions that have occured to you in the last few weeks, and also offer comments.
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The most difficulty that we've had over the past three years with mom in the NH have been the result of lack of communication between us and those services, because they report their results to the NH, who report them to us. In the process, important information was left out, which WAS in the written reports.
As an example, the dentist, who started seeing mom three years ago recommended pulling all of her teeth and doing complete upper and lower dentures. We were unable to contact this person directly and we did not pursue the issue. Recently, some of mom's teeth broke off. I persisted and after three months of calling and cajoling, finally got the dentist on the phone. It turns out that when he initially saw mom, nearly all of her teeth had cavities; he recommended extraction for a very good reason!
Not that we would have done it, but it would have been good to know what road we were going down at the outset.
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You may have questions based on any of the reports.
Here are some of the questions my sisters and I have asked:
We have found Mom without her teeth in 3 times this month. What is happening to correct that problem?
Mom is really enjoying the musical entertainment. Thank you for bringing her to these events.
Mom's rash seems to be getting worse. Is there something else that can be tried?
In other words, ask any questions that have occured to you in the last few weeks, and also offer comments.