How do I make sure my parents stay together if I move them into a nursing home?

thanks for all the answers, so nice to know others face the same issues and care enough to respond. I went to a facility yesterday that smelled of urine when I walked in the door, no thanks. My father was career air force I am going to call to get help with what he may qualify for. God Bless all

It's just like when they live together at home. You usually have one calling the shots for the other. Sometimes it's really sad to see. One needs more care but they are determined to stay at home together. Sometimes the one in charge is worse off than the other. We come in alone and generally we go out alone but as others have written, it's best to make sure before you place them what the rules are so you can be prepared. Life happens. My InLaws were in rehab together in the same room. MIL developed MRSA so FIL was moved out. He passed away while they were separated.

That's a tough one. It depends on each of their own needs specifically. Then check places out and go from there.

You ask questions - that is how you'll know.

I have a friend whose mother needs more mental care and a father who needs more physical care. By asking questions, she got them both into the same Memory Home even though by rights, her dad doesn't require a Memory Care Home.

It isn't always best to keep them together, you need to be certain that what is good for one is not actually harmful for the other. Some friends made sure their parents continued to live together in the NH even though their mom was completely bed bound and increasingly unresponsive. They had to be separated when the dad was found yelling at her and roughly dragging her out of bed, insisting she get up... very sad.

This is the situation with my inlaws. If the facility is willing they can be kept together in the place that meets the needs of the one that requires the most help.

In Florida there is a right * share a room with your spouse, relative or partner when the spouse, relative or partner lives in the same facility and you both consent to the arrangement;

You can start by only looking at places that offer a continuum of care, and then asking about their policy on keeping couples together. Even when it may be impossible to keep them together in a shared room a place offering different levels of care should make it easy for them to spend a lot of time together.

If one needs to be in a locked down memory care unit and the other one doesn't, I'm not sure you will be able to or want keep them together at that point.