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ENDOFROAP Asked June 2017

How do I cope with family?

I live 800 miles away from mom and brothers for the past twelve years. Mom had three strokes and dementia youngest sibling lived all his life with her he is 55. the other sibling was on his own but often asked mom for financial help with getting his condo and such. Mom made her will up five years ago and gave me DPOA over her accounts. She wanted the her house to go to youngest because that is what my dad wanted her to do. She said many times to me that she was not she was doing the right thing by that and should she leave the house to all of us. I told her I do not need nor want another home I had one. My husband and I have worked very hard and did without just to make it on our own without any help. Now after the strokes mom is in a NH because she needs so much care. The youngest sibling did not allow me to talk with mom or see her for many months I finally called EA because I did not know if mom was alive or dead. Calls for well check were made before EA got involved. When social worker came and wanted to see mom the youngest sibling denied the visit so social worker stated that if she had to she would come back with police. He let her in the next day. She felt mom needed to be in a NH. Youngest sibling put a quick claim on moms house and opened up several credit cards in moms name. Over four thousand dollars was spent by him. He also had mom sign him over as DPOA and mine taken away making him in charge of her money as well as being her Medical advocate. IT has gone to probate now and mom has her state guardian in charge of things. My question is will the youngest have to pay back the charge account money he spent? and what will happen to the house. Mom had medicare and health insurance. I will never get back lost time with my mom right now I will never forgive him for that but I have moved on with my life, I had a breakdown due to stress caused by the siblings. I was getting two hundred texts a day that were threatening and harassing.. Neither one of them would talk with me so it is in the hands of the court. I only wanted peace and care for mom and her money to be spent on her only not on the siblings. how do i go on it is so hard knowing my mom is alive and I am not being told how she is. The cards and gifts i send her i get back.

freqflyer Jun 2017
Yvette65, it is best to start your posting as a new posting, that way you would get answers to your post instead of the original writer's above :)

freqflyer Jun 2017
ENDOFROAP, I agree with geewiz above, a person who has dementia and who cannot understand a legal document, the POA is invalid. And so is the quit claim deed which would had to have had your mother's signature. Is there any way you can get a report from your Mom's doctor regarding your Mom's dementia?

Regarding the quit claim, your brother is going to be in for a surprise if he goes to sell the house later on, as the capital gains taxes might be high because the bases for the house goes all the way back to when your Mom had bought the house. Plus one needs to check to see if Mom's signature is valid.

The credit cards that were opened under Mother's name, see if the bank can give you a copy of the application as it would need your Mother's signature. If the signature looks forged then there is a huge problem. If Mom signed it, then the dementia would come into play.

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Yvette65 Jun 2017
My mother is 91 with arthritis and dementia and lives alone. I live 2 miles from her and moved from California 12 yrs ago because I knew that eventually she would need care. My older brother lives in Michigan and has dpoa. My mom thinks he walks on water as he is always on her side. Last year when she broke her hip I moved in with her and never left the house for over a month. It was a very difficult time. He never came to help at all. She was mean negative, demanding and not nice to me but an absolute angel to everyone else. He travels here once a month now and says she is fine so he leaves. Of course as soon as he leaves she calls me. She also has a younger boyfriend who without anyone's knowledge took her to the bank and had her poa changed to himself and a trust put in his name along with his crooked attorney. He also changed her bank accounts. My brother had to fix everything. Now this guy lives with her and her is a hoarder. He just went on a week's trip and he hired someone to come and stay with my mom. No references, no background check, nothing. My brother was OK with this so he didn't have to come to Florida. I didn't like this person but he told me to butt out. Thursday, DCF and the police were called and he is accusing me of calling. I don't know why or who or even what to do now. But I feel like my hands are tied.

geewiz Jun 2017
I know this isn't your question, but a New DPOA signed by someone with dementia isn't valid! Have you considered moving on this action?

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