How to cope with mom feeling abandoned?

Once returning from the grocery store, I found on the answering machine a distress call from Mom. I rushed at the memory care facility and Mom asked me what I was doing there. She had completely forgot calling me! I'd swear to myself to remember. But I'm so used for so many years ( around 20!) to answer her every need even when she just taking a profound breath that I feel bad when she feels so bad. Everybody that know me tells me that I've done everything I could, but the past doesn't seems to count when the present is gloom! I know I must let her be, she is in very good hands. But it is so hard! I' m exhausted, so it is difficult to cope with all those emotions and changes. Thank you for you kind support and for reminding me that I've done my best and that it is the desease speaking not her. God bless!

Yes, it's a d*mn rodeo! Thank you for the encouragement! What is so sad is that in a sense I have to let her go a bit more each time.

michou, there shouldn't be any guilt, it the nature of the dementia journey, and we cannot control it. Plus your Mom is living in a place that specializes in memory issues, so this isn't their first rodeo, but sometimes it's our first.

When Mom calls, just go along with what she says, it is much easier to do that. Say you were very busy at home and you will visit her tomorrow, even though you were already there today.... of course you know she will forget that quickly.

As for the sadness, yes it is tough watching our parents age, be it mobility issues and/or memory issues. My parents were in their 90's, so I figured they had a long wonderful life, and I was trying to make their final years the best that was available.

A bit! Thank you for caring!

Thought about when I dropped my daughter off at pre school and how I sometimes felt guilty. She really enjoyed preschool and had a great time. Maybe it's a little similar. I would tell myself that I am doing the best I can for my mother and realize a lot of people react the same way your mother does. Hope this helps

Hi Michou. . When I read your post I th