How to move into a nursing home when you're alone?

JennInSeattle, when my Dad [95] was in Independent Living and was still able to manage, he did have his favorite private paid caregiver in the morning to get him up, shower, make him breakfast and lunch. Then Dad had the whole afternoon and evenings to himself. He had dinner in the main dining room with his favorite table-mates.

Dad's IL included weekly linen service, where someone came in and washed/changes his towels and sheets with those he supplied.. plus there was weekly cleaning service which did housekeeping.  Dad's caregiver did his personal laundry.  There was a nurse on duty 24 hours a day. Once Dad couldn't manage his pills, he was able to pay for Med-tech service where a certified person would bring Dad his pills twice a day. Dad also had a medic-alert pendent to wear in case he fell or felt ill. My Dad's paid caregiver would take him to his doctor's appointments and then they had a lunch treat away from the facility. She would also take him shopping. Dad had cable TV and WiFi service. The complex had a private bus to take residents to Walmart, grocery store, doctor appts.

Once Dad moved to Assisted Living/Memory Care, in the same complex, he had to use the facilities own linens and towels which were changed daily. And all 3 meals were in the dining room. Aides checked in on him frequently, except during the time which his caregiver was there. Yes, it was expensive to have the caregiver, but she was with Dad for over a year, and it gave him a routine once his dementia started to show more. The caregiver was a blessing and worth every dollar. She and Dad got along great :)

Glad I was fugal my whole life. So were my parents, so they taught me well. I had my first savings account when I was 5 years old :) Of course back then one was earning interest big time so one's money would really grow.

Oh, please note, not all Independent Living, and Assisted Living complexes are all the same.  But this gives you an idea.

Jennin, I'm going to make a suggestion. I think you should find a continuing care facility ( one that has IL, AL and NH facilities on the same campus.

Call them up and make an appointment, a fact finding mission, if you will. Ask if they have patients with no families and how they manage.

I think this may set your mind at ease!!

freqflyer, you have no idea how much your answer has helped my peace of mind. I'm nowhere near needing to go into a facility yet, but from 2013-2016 I saw my grandfather deteriorate dramatically in an assisted living, then a full-time care facility. He was in a place that had all three (independent, assisted, and nursing care), which is a facility I would look into. I believe what I saw with him traumatized me and I've been having severe anxiety ever since his death about what would I do? He would not have managed without my aunt and myself advocating for him and helping him.

I've also considered, as I get closer to that time, hiring a senior living and care advocate who would also be my POA, and drawing up a living will that discusses my DNR wishes and etc.

As far as cost goes, I plan on having multiple sources of income that should cover the cost (teacher's retirement, social security if it's still paying out, a Roth IRA, some savings, and long-term care insurance). I've already figured, even in adjusting for inflation, that I will have enough to cover the cost. In addition, if I were to run out of money (unlikely, but possible) I'm planning on choosing a facility that already accepts Medicaid, so I won't need to move facilities should my finances become an issue.

But I have a few more questions:
What if I need to see a doctor?
Who provides clothing and linens?

Jenn, you need to get a Power of Attorney and appoint someone to act in your behalf when you are no longer able. Make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney and see what they recommend. If you have no one, maybe the Attorney could elect another attorney in the law firm to be your POA, but the firm would bill the estate for any hourly costs.

If you move into a nursing home, the TV is already there, and there will probably be WiFi for computers. The nursing home has their own hospital bed, a night table, a dresser or a portable closet. You can bring small items to make the place feel more like home, but note, in nursing homes you usually share a room. Some have private rooms.

Have you considered Assisted Living or Independent Living? That way you would have your own apartment. And as time goes down the road, you can move from Independent Living over to Assisted Living. So make sure you choose a place that offers both. Now, these places are not cheap, on average $5-7k per month. Where a nursing home would be around $10k per month, you could ask Medicaid to help you with the cost [Medicaid is different from Medicare]. With IL and AL you can make a lot of new friends :)