My mother has dementia and my brother has been mooching off her for years. How can I protect her financially?

Oh to answer your question. Mom has a home I have been trying to empty and clean from 53 years. Since it is another state I make trips when I can find someone to stay with mom. This is new her wanting to go back to Mi. Mom bought my brother the place he is in now. She has been supplementing his income until I took over.

Thank you for your answers.

This is a red flag. I am trying to better understand wants to go home when been living at home. Seems to imply the brother is living in her former home that is still an asset? Or is this just another home. This is both a financial planning issue and a legal issue and protecting your mother's health going forward issue, so you need to consider all of these. Switching banks helps get things reset, but switching accounts and re-routing social security income is a red flag and should not wait. When changing bank accounts, you have to attend social security office to update direct deposit change: helps with mother present, easier, but if have legal right to handle that alone, great.

I think there is also a term called representative payee or a process which can be discussed with financial/legal advisers as to how to best handle income/caregiving costs as well protect mother and you from allowing anyone from reducing her nest egg that is to be used solely for her care, the whole point of retirement income. Do a 1 year review of all banking, financial statements and consider running a credit check to determine any other suspicious behavior that can occur, open credit cards, loans, etc.

Sounds to me like you simplified the situation already but this is always an ongoing management issue where staying well aware of any loose ends from interfering with ultimate goal: take care of an elderly person diagnosed with dementia. Good luck!

Freqflyer
 
I do not know for a fact but I think he is pulling the "I am dying" routine yet I see him posting on Facebook pictures he has taken of surrounding area. I have change banks and believe I have all papers in order and now this. I'm tired of all of it.

No we haven't made the trip yet. I have changed banks but I think she will try and change her deposits into a new bank up North. The bank here has the documents were she resigned her control. But Navy retirement and Social security won't know she did this. She still can sound with it on the phone because of notes she keeps.

Patti, did you and your Mom take that 10-12 hour trip to MI? https://www.agingcare.com/questions/brother-talk-mom-into-staying-with-him-428918.htm

Did your Mom stay with your brother? Does she want to stay in her old home or live with your brother?

Since you have Power of Attorney, might be time to switch banks and have Mom's Social Security and retirement checks transferred to the new bank. Mom doesn't need to know.

But first make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney and see what ideas he/she might have regarding the financial issues and your brother trying to make changes. Maybe you can use a different name on the account, something your brother can't figure out.