How do you approach a loved one about moving into a memory care unit?
My mom's doctor has advised me that she needs to be in a facility that can care for her; she can no longer live alone. I have been taking care of my mom but it's taking a toll on my health. Any suggestions as to how to approach her?
I had a similar situation, but, at the time, she was going into a regular Assisted Living. (Though, we had to move her to Secure Memory Care soon thereafter.) In my case, her doctor was kind, but, told her in no uncertain terms that she had to move to AL. She needed things like physical therapy, medication administration, nutritious food, help with baths, etc. The doctor told us, she would not let it go. I think she understood that her neighbors keeping an eye on her was not sufficient. Even with me going to her everyday was not enough. So, she agreed to go to get herself in better health.
Due to how hesitant my LO was, she only toured the place when we showed up for her admittance. I was afraid she would find fault and refuse to go back. So, I packed her a small bag and got her registered, checked in. Then, I went to her home and packed her things, tv, toiletries, etc. and took those over. All the furniture and linens were furnished.
If she is high functioning, she may think that Memory Care is too much for her, but, I would discuss this with her doctor and the facility. Often dementia patients have symptoms that are difficult to manage in a regular AL.
Put her on the waiting list. Have the doctor mention at each visit that she's going yo need more support, more help than an untrained person can give at home. Go on a tour when she's close to the top of the list so she can meet folks.
Also, when you fill out the paperwork, ask the facility social worker how they advise families.
Does your mother become agitated easily and dwell on negatives and "what ifs"?
If this is the case, talk to her doc about it or get a referral for a geriatric psychiatrist.
I've already toured the place I want her to go to and have taken a tour. Do I tell her where we are going and for what? Should I have the doctor talk to her first? There's a waiting list for the memory care unit, and I haven't filled out the paperwork yet. How should I time this?
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Due to how hesitant my LO was, she only toured the place when we showed up for her admittance. I was afraid she would find fault and refuse to go back. So, I packed her a small bag and got her registered, checked in. Then, I went to her home and packed her things, tv, toiletries, etc. and took those over. All the furniture and linens were furnished.
If she is high functioning, she may think that Memory Care is too much for her, but, I would discuss this with her doctor and the facility. Often dementia patients have symptoms that are difficult to manage in a regular AL.
Also, when you fill out the paperwork, ask the facility social worker how they advise families.
Does your mother become agitated easily and dwell on negatives and "what ifs"?
If this is the case, talk to her doc about it or get a referral for a geriatric psychiatrist.
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This is one of those situations where the best approach is " now it's time to...." and not " would you like to....?"
And make sure the doctor has the talk with HER, not just with you.