My dad has dementia and just recently started losing control of his bowels. What can we do?

How much can he communicate with you? IF he is able to understand your explanation and encouragement, I'd do like Freqflyer said and remind him that it's a medical condition and nothing to be ashamed of. And that many other seniors have the same thing going on.

When my LO first went into Depends for urinary incontinence, I told her not to feel bad, since she seemed a little nervous about the Depends. I said, no one has a perfect bladder and that I, myself, was going to start wearing the depends when I went out of the house for the day. This was not true, but, it made her feel better in the moment. Sort of like it's just a lady problem and we all deal with it eventually. That worked for us. She soon stopped fretting about it and it stopped worrying her at all.

Try telling Dad it is just a fact of life, that as we age our body's forgets how to do things. If he is in Assisted Living, probably several people are going through the same thing and its not stopping them from leaving their room.

Does Dad where Depend type garments? My Dad did, and I found the more expensive one did a better job at fitting him, the color of the Depends was grey or blue, and it looked and felt more like regular underwear. If it worked, it was worth the price.