How do we make Mom feel valuable?

Your mom should feel loved, some people just are not the appreciative type. Some people will do things and more things hoping and even expecting appreciation, love and praise. Many times this will not provide the good feeling of being appreciated, and will not happen. Help because that is the right thing to do and gives you a good feeling.

Is it your mother who doesn't feel valuable, or your husband and daughters who don't feel appreciated?

Your profile gives mobility problems as your mother's main health concern; but are there also changes in her mood or personality that are causing you to worry about how she's feeling?

Cdnreader is right about adjusting expectations to the reality of the situation. Whether your mother never has been the grateful type or used to be but now can't express her emotions, the same applies: take consolation from doing the right, loving things, rather than from your mother's showing that it makes her feel loved and cared for.

I know you are doing your best for your mom. But sometimes I have come to the conclusion you cannot change a grown man or woman and not your elderly parents. Do what you can for her, but its probably best not to expect gratitude. I was a desperate pleaser my whole life. I tried to do what I thought was right for my dad after his stroke. I paid the bill, cleaned the house, ran the errands, got the food, but there was never a please or thank you. Maybe it was something our culture. He just expected me to be there because I was his daughter. I tried to do what I thought was right but it was wrong of me to expect any gratitude. I think by doing everything you can for her, she does feel valuable even if she doesn't say it.