to ray lin stephens ---they make it hard to know where they are ..if you send money thru money gram or any other there is no way to track them ..i got scammed from a person in the u.s took over 600$ i report it to the F.B.I -- THEY NEVER DID ANYTHING NOTHING !!!!! I GAVE THEM ADDRESSES & IT WAS PHONEY MONEY ORDER THRU THE POST OFFICE BUT THEY WAS COUNTERFEIT there is no way to trac them if thru thru the computer is mainly i am talking about ..i wish i could but you cant all you can do for her is to supervise everything that knows a lot of ways to out smart them but the best bet i agree is to never write to them ..but i have been outsmarting them & love it ..i even got a phone # & called him a lot he was in florida when he claim he was in california ..the net they make sure you cannot catch them look at megan meier case from what i have seen she the so called guy was next door so on the net NO way to tell i only understand the net side more than the others so i encourage everyone just not have anything to do with them ..if they only want to text forget it the best way to trust a person is if you see them call actually will not work it could be anyone on the other end .but they are to stupid & will tell you any excuse why you cannot talk to them ..also i got calls from a person that claim to be with microsoft ..so i took night class for computers so i also am microsoft certified ..the 1st certification i guess ..so well i asked this female wanna bee what is your microsoft career number ?? she gave me a phoney one i had google on so i typed it in & could tell from my # she had to be there for a very long time she missed maybe 4 to 6 more digits to what i have & she sounded young ..oh also my phne tells me the # that they call from ..it was a microsoft # though so i p*ssed her off some ..i asked her i want to talk to your supervisor plenty of timesso HE came on i asked him whats your career # well he hung up ..it is about the 3rd time they called me since i have been in school ..also they had my phone # & email address they asked me if i was on you computer i said yes they named off for me to do stuff ..they wanted to get me to give them my info on the computer so they can hack it ..it is possible to do that so i didnt keep track to what they wanted me to do ..so the next day i emailed my sister that works for a college so she called microsoft the right people & they say they do that the hackers but they never call you microsoft does not so get a call from them ----ASK THEM FOR THERE CAREER # = COMP00120299999 THIS IS A BOGUS # THE 9'S ARE A EXAMPLE SHOULD HAVE IT LIKE THAT AT LEAST ...BACK TO THE 1 SCAM THEY TOOK MY $$$ 600 OF IT IT WAS A SECRET SHOPPER THE PHONEY M/O I GOT FOR 800.00 I KEPT THE 200 I SENT THEM MY 600.00$ SO I CHECKED & THAT I FIGURED IT OUT TO LATE BUT IT WENT TO THE PHILIPPINES OR SOME WHERE IT WENT IT WAS NOT THE MONEY GRAM BUT THE OTHER DONT MATTER ..THEY CAN GO ANYWHERE CASH THAT MONEY EVEN DO IT ON THE PHONE ..SO WELL I DID GOOD HE WANTED ME TO DO MORE SO I DID ..OH I DID THEY WANTED ANOTHER 600.00$ OR SO SO GUESS WHAT I DID I SENT THE A**HOLE 2.00$ 2 OF THEM HE SAID ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ??? ALL THRU THIS THOUGH I ASKED HIM IS THIS LEGAL HE ASSURED ME IT WAS TILLI FOUND OUT THE TRUTH ..BUT LIKE I SAI I FILED A REPORT ON LINE CAUSE I CALLED THEM UP & THEY TOLD ME TO DO IT ON LINE SO I DID THIS WAS 5 OR 6 YRS NOW OH I CAN FIND OUT I STILL HAVE THE EMAIL --IT WAS 5-11-12 BACK THAT LONG & ABOUT A WEEK LATER OR SO WELL WITH IN THE MONTH I WROTE TO THE FBI & NEVER HEARD ANYTHING ...IF IT WAS INTERNATIONAL NOT IN THIS COUNTRY THEY CANNOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL NO WAY !!!!! SO THAT IS WHY I WOULD LIKE TO BUT CANNOT REPORT THEM & 99% OF THEM ARE OUT OF THE COUNTRY ..I EVEN STILL HAVE MY COMPLIANT INFO WHEN I FILED A COMPLAINT TO THE F.B.I SO THAT IS WHY OKAY ..THIS MIGHT TAKE UP A WHOLE PAGE ..PLEASE PEOPLE READ THRU THIS & USE MY ADVISE I HAVE BEEN THRU IT PLENTY OF TIMES BUT ONLY GOT TAKEN 3 TIMES OUT OF OVER A HUNDRED @ LEAST I GOT A BAD STUFF FOLDER WISH I COULD SEND THEM ALL TO YOU THEN YOU CAN SEE SO THAT IS THE NET SIDE OF SCAMMERS BEST THING TO BE CAREFUL ..& IF THEY MAKE UP A LOT OF EXCUSES FOR SOMETHING IT IS A SCAM THERE'S A LOT IN DATING SITES EVEN FACEBOOK I OUT SMARTED A DUMB GIRL I COULD HAVE GOT IN TROUBLE SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD ME WELL SHE DID NOT PLAN THAT I UNFRIENDED HER & BLOCKED HER & SHE COULD NOT DO ANYTHING ..THERE WAS SOME NUDITY ON IT & I CAME OUT AHEAD I WONT DO THAT ANYMORE I WILL SAY TO BAD YOUR BORED SO MAKE SURE YOU LEARN TO UNFRIEND & BLOCK THEM ON F/B SO YOU GET SCAMMED THEY WILL GET THE BALL DROPPED ON THEM ON F/B CHECK OUT TO SEE IF THEY HAVE MUTUAL FRIENDS if not look t there postings if there is some history to it they are more likey okay & if they want something unfriend them block --learn to do that more legitimate than not & see where they are from if brand new then be more cautious so google that if you do not know that it will show you i just kind of figured it out the unblocking is where it says following then the block click on where you see message the 3 dots to the right click on that ..you will see different stuff to do ..that is how it is done so if wrong google it i had over 100 scams on facebook ..they do not want you to message them on the site or email cause you have proof there so if they want you to go to a messenger tell them no they want to scam you cause no proof but still cannot do anything i have been scammed since 2008 but i dont have records that far back ..so best thing to do is you dont know them leave it that way ...good luck
You need to report this to your State Attorney General but I fear that if she has freely given away the money, there is little you can do to stop it. I know my mother got very upset when I tried to explain that these people on the phone were not her friends.
You can cancel her telephone - that would help some, but kind of like locking the barn after the horses got out. You can also request a new phone number and explain how the current number is costing your mother a fortune in handouts.
It's pitiful how the elderly are preyed upon. And it's everywhere.
Sorry to hear what happened. I know its tough. Seniors are so vulnerable to these types of scams. I would try and take control of the money. Or use a call blocker on her phone. Or use call display feature. My friend's dad will not answer the phone unless he recognizes the call display or let all calls go to the answering machine for screening.
Falling for tele-marketers was one of the things that led me to find out that my husband has Alzheimer's. For now, I put caller ID on the phone, he won't pick it up unless it says it is a family member or friend. Poor guy is so afraid to be taken in again. I just keep reminding him that if it is important they will leave a message and we will all them back. For today, it is working. Most everyone calls me on my cell phone so the only ones that call the house are scammers, and the occasional Doctor or Dentist office. I am not sure about the mail because he usually gets it before I do. I do electronically monitor his bank account and so far no more red flags. We have been married only about 17 years and we have always had separate accounts.
This is why I feel Telemarketers need to be illegal. I told my Mom to tell them that her daughter's handles her money. The no call list is a joke. They allow charities, political calls, surveys and people u have done business with. Junk mail, if they send a postage paid envelope I send the sheet showing her address and write on it to take Mom off their mailing list. If no envelope , I go online and email the companies. Like the cell Idea only allowing the calls that are on the contact list. Problem with that , though, is my Mom could never learn how to use a cell phone.
I think taking over her financial matters is about the best thing you could've ever done. I'm not sure you'll ever recover what she lost to scams, but you can help her build a savings and start over. Since she's probably on some form of social security income, you can open and able account for her and sock away all of her extra money in there. Research each state with an able program and choose the right one for you. Tennessee is free but has no debit card, Ohio has a debit card but cost 2.50 per month and several others cost much more. Take your pick among be able accounts in each state and jumpstart her savings. Able accounts tend to be interest bearing and have multiple investment options. If you don't want to lose anything, call the state able account in which you were trying to apply and ask what to select to avoid losing any money and they'll tell you. Able accounts are pretty new, you may want to take advantage of them but you can only have one in any state but not one per state, just one per person
I already HAVE gone behind her back and cancelled a few catalogs. She doesn't have the capability to get them coming again. In time, I will have cancelled them all. She gets packages 5 days a week, every week. Just junk.
Midkid, Great solution with the redirect! Great idea too on ways that REALLY make a difference too. I agree, Publisher's Clearing House is so evil, I saw this lady spending 30 bucks on a small tin of candy!!!! Then, she would not eat it, decided to save it for Christmas gifts. It would be no good by then. But, no convincing her. Here is a secret about PCH. If you go online and really search, it's not easy but find the phone # for customer service, explain that Mom has dementia or has died and request to stop all further communications. Worked for me!
My mother also falls for many sad tales--but she is on a tight budget and will only give $5 or $10. Still--one day I sat her down and explained that of the $5 she gives to a charity, X amt must pay the telemarketers first, and if they don't make their "base pay" often NONE of what you send it goes to the actual charity. She was appalled. She is on EVERY SINGLE mailing list in the world---I found a huge box packed to the brim with those "return labels" and little pads of paper that charities will send you, and since she keeps those, she feels guilty. I told her if she felt guilty keeping those and not giving away any money, to go ahead, but be aware, they are mostly scams at worst, and at best, poor ways for large organizations to raise funds. (also, she has more than 3,000 of those labels.....yes, I bothered to count) She gets more weekly.
Luckily she now has no landline, and she can barely use the cell phone, so phone solicitors are off limits. I can't stop and scan her mail everyday, so she'll still fall for something once in a while--but the one thing she will not give up is Publisher's Clearing House. Brother has in his basement storage 4 enormous plastic bins packed with the envelopes from them for the last 40 years. She really thinks she's going to win and that's our inheritance!!!! So she insists we hang on to EVERYTHING that came in the envelope, in case she wins. I didn't know PCH was still even a THING!
As far as finding a place that could use her money, or has needs--I have encouraged her to crochet baby blankets, make hygiene kits for Humanitarian Aid centers...things like that. One year I asked her to not give all the grankids and ggkids that $5 bill at Christmas and she helped us to pack 50 Christmas stockings for the local Boys and Girls Club. She helped pack the stockings--and I gave her the letter from the director, thanking our family.
I appreciate that she still wants to occasionally "help out". Finding ways to get her to do it so it's actually meeting a need it harder, and does require my help. The baby blankets are sweet and to many mothers in very poor countries, that may be the only blanket their child has.
So I guess, kind of re-direct the desire to "help" into more tangible ways of helping. It's more work for us, but mother enjoys knowing that her few dollars helped out someone in need, instead of paying someone in a call center.
Definately need more info to get a better picture of what is happening here. Does she have dementia or confusion? That may or may not matter as before my Mom had dementia, she had been sucked in to the Reader's Digest contest for DECADES, sure every year she was going to win it. Then, she did her good Catholic part by giving lots away to charities. She was not rich and was not good with her money but she had all her wits about her so nothing I could do. It was her money to spend as she saw fit. When her mind started going, and I had to take over her finances, everything changed! I had to write or call all charities to get her off their lists, I got most of em, some keep sending their stuff in the mail regardless but it goes from mailbox straight to recycle can! Sometimes, out of site, out of mind really helps. I also cared for an elderly woman who was hooked on Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes. You want to talk about a scam, that's a biggie!!!!! She spent so much money on needless things like candy, jewelry, gadgets, it never ended but when we went grocery shopping, she was unsure she had enough money in her account! It's tough to watch and even tougher to convince them they are needlessly wasting money on these scams & they really need to save it for themselves! Old habits are very hard to break. If she has dementia (and it's been diagnosed) the person with DPOA can step in and get things under control again, if she is of sound mind still, not sure you can help.
You do not say whether or not she has dementia. You also do not say the manner in which she is tricked out of her money. More information, please. In my husband's case, I monitor incoming mail for scam. He does not use the computer . I have discontinued our land line. He has a cell phone that I have programmed so that only the people on his contact list will make his phone vibrate and ring. All other incoming calls will only light up his screen. He keeps the phone in a holster on his belt and therefore is unaware of these calls.
Here in Minnesota, I would contact the attorney general's office for help in stopping the scammers. They investigate them and go after them on legal grounds. It doesn't get the money back, necessarily, but may put them out of business and in jail. I started to support certain "groups" that would call with their sob stories and investigated them on Charity Navigator to determine their credibility. Some were legitimate, but I decided not to donate to anyone phoning in the future and hang up on their spiel. Certain groups I did want to help, but when I found out on Charity Navigator how much they took in, I begin to ask how many people they were helping. I never got straight answers and just started hanging up and also trashing their mail appeals. When my friends for whom I am their POA moved into their memory care apartment, I have all their mail come to me and trash the appeals for money. I have written a note on their return form that they would no longer be able to support them and asked to not send further appeals, but they usually keep coming. Their phone number is changed, too, and no one except friends and family has their new one. They have no internet and forgot how to use it anyway. The attorney general helped get a magazine renewal company to stop sending their "bills" about subscription renewals to my friends. They had "renewed" their subscription to the Economist magazine to 2028--a very expensive magazine. I asked them to return that money and bring the subscription down to about 2018 (back in 2015) and it took a while, but they did so. Now that all the mail comes to me, I trash any such appeals. The AG also got the company to make their "reminders" look less like a real bill. The company changed which state we were to be mailing to as a way to get out from under this scrutiny, but at least the AG helped and I was grateful for their expertise.
How is mom giving away her money, by phone, mailings? Does mom have dementia?
My mom has dementia and gave thousands away to charities. She would get so much junk mail in one day - it was unbelievable. She would write checks to anyone and everyone. She also would give money away via credit card over the phone.
Things I did: I took her to the bank, since her account was compromised and the bank manager talked to her - about what not to do. I put her on the do-not-call list. I was able to block certain phone calls from coming to her home. If I was there, I would answer the phone and ask them to take her off the list. I also got a post office box and had her mail sent there. Anything with a prepaid return envelope I would send back requesting to be taken off the mailings.
Dementia or not many seniors fall into this trap. It's sad. If she is using a computer and getting scammed, maybe you can have certain websites blocked. I think a lot of seniors do this because they are bored. I agree with Garden Artist - if she can get involved helping a specific charity - that may be very meaningful for her. Explain to mom that she can't give to everyone, and this specific charity is who she contributes to. If she has dementia - then she really won't comprehend and will continue the behavior until you step in.
ALSO TELL THEM THAT YOU ARE DIYING FROM HAVING CANCER YOU GOT 3 DAYS TO LIVE ..SEE WHAT THEY SAY TO THAT ..I HOPE IT IS OVER INTERNET ..I HAD A RUSSIAN WOMEN I TOLD HER I WAS DIYING FROM CANCER & THEY JUST RAMBLE ABOUT SO I GOT RID OF THEM
well millions to go does she understand what she is doing ?? what kind on the computer there you have to figure out if they are to scam you ..1 time i did it with weather ..this person was a female -not - well we had storms one time so that day i decided to ask this person what the weather was like -told it was a terrible storm .so this person claimed to live in minnesota ..so i googled what the weather was like there said cloudy & cool in the 30's so i said i got you your a scammer & told him you are a lair it was cloudy & cool impossible to have storms told him or her whatever to get lost ...YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR MOM THAT THESE ARE GUYS THAT ARE UNEMPLOYED & THEY ARE TRYING TO GET MONEY OUT OF SUCKERS LIKE YOU !!! EVEN IN NIGERIA I GOT 1 GOING NOW BUSTED THEM BUT STILL KEEPS GOING CAUSE IT THINKS THAT I DO NOT SEE THRU THAT I BET I GOT 100 OF THEM SAVED IN A FOLDER ..SO YOUR MOM MENTAL ENOUGH TO SHOW HER THIS DO IT PRINT IT EVEN -GOOGLE SCAMS & SEE TOO THERE IS MILLIONS SO TELL HER TO STOP THERE LOOKING FOR SUCKERS ASK FOR A PICTURE IF THEY GIVE ANY - ASK FOR A PICTURE OF THEM HOLDING A CALENDAR POINTING THE DATE OUT WITH A PENCIL OR PEN & ASK THEM TO HOLD KEYS NEXT TO THERE CAR HOLDING KEYS ..SO TRY THAT .REMEMBER THERE IS A SUCKER BORN IN A MINUTE ..WELL WITH THE NET IT HAS TO BE 40 IN A SECOND GOOD LUCK
Over the years, I've come to believe that elders are easily scammed not only b/c they're vulnerable and naïve about scams, but b/c they want to feel a sense of helping, of reaching out in perhaps the only way they now can b/c they can't physically help others.
So I've tried to find ways that "help" can be provided and redirect the donations to specific charities. I've also contacted a number of sources including the VA, local senior centers and others which I don't remember right now.
The VA has a volunteer program; people can perform a range of activities with homebound to give them social opportunities. I haven't been able to utilize this service in our are as the only volunteer lived quite a ways away and wasn't comfortable bringing her dog for therapy for such a distance.
If neighbors have dogs, perhaps they might stop by; buy some doggie biscuits and let your mother give them to the dog(s). That's usually a heartwarming experience for people of any age.
Our senior center accepts clean unused greeting cards (which some so-called charities send prolifically). The cards can also be donated to AL, IL, SNF and other facilities for distribution to residents, especially at Christmas time.
What did your mother used to do to extend herself to others? Is there a way you can translate into current activities?
My niece used to take her young sons to library events in which the boys read to therapy dogs. Apparently the dogs benefit from human interaction as well as provide it to people in need.
I would think a "talk therapist" would do some good for your Mom. If Mom is on Medicare, you would need to find a therapist who take Medicare.
Maybe chatting with someone outside of the family would do her a world of good. If you have choices of therapists, find a mature therapist. Sometimes elders don't listen to people who are real young.
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from what i have seen she the so called guy was next door so on the net NO way to tell i only understand the net side more than the others so i encourage everyone just not have anything to do with them ..if they only want to text forget it the best way to trust a person is if you see them call actually will not work it could be anyone on the other end .but they are to stupid & will tell you any excuse why you cannot talk to them ..also i got calls from a person that claim to be with microsoft ..so i took night class for computers so i also am microsoft certified ..the 1st certification i guess ..so well i asked this female wanna bee what is your microsoft career number ?? she gave me a phoney one i had google on so i typed it in & could tell from my # she had to be there for a very long time she missed maybe 4 to 6 more digits to what i have & she sounded young ..oh also my phne tells me the # that they call from ..it was a microsoft # though so i p*ssed her off some ..i asked her i want to talk to your supervisor plenty of timesso HE came on i asked him whats your career # well he hung up ..it is about the 3rd time they called me since i have been in school ..also they had my phone # & email address they asked me if i was on you computer i said yes they named off for me to do stuff ..they wanted to get me to give them my info on the computer so they can hack it ..it is possible to do that so i didnt keep track to what they wanted me to do ..so the next day i emailed my sister that works for a college so she called microsoft the right people & they say they do that the hackers but they never call you microsoft does not so get a call from them ----ASK THEM FOR THERE CAREER # = COMP00120299999 THIS IS A BOGUS # THE 9'S ARE A EXAMPLE SHOULD HAVE IT LIKE THAT AT LEAST ...BACK TO THE 1 SCAM THEY TOOK MY $$$ 600 OF IT IT WAS A SECRET SHOPPER THE PHONEY M/O I GOT FOR 800.00 I KEPT THE 200 I SENT THEM MY 600.00$ SO I CHECKED & THAT I FIGURED IT OUT TO LATE BUT IT WENT TO THE PHILIPPINES OR SOME WHERE IT WENT IT WAS NOT THE MONEY GRAM BUT THE OTHER DONT MATTER ..THEY CAN GO ANYWHERE CASH THAT MONEY EVEN DO IT ON THE PHONE ..SO WELL I DID GOOD HE WANTED ME TO DO MORE SO I DID ..OH I DID
THEY WANTED ANOTHER 600.00$ OR SO SO GUESS WHAT I DID I SENT THE A**HOLE
2.00$ 2 OF THEM HE SAID ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ??? ALL THRU THIS THOUGH
I ASKED HIM IS THIS LEGAL HE ASSURED ME IT WAS TILLI FOUND OUT THE TRUTH ..BUT LIKE I SAI I FILED A REPORT ON LINE CAUSE I CALLED THEM UP & THEY TOLD ME TO DO IT ON LINE SO I DID THIS WAS 5 OR 6 YRS NOW OH I CAN FIND OUT I STILL HAVE THE EMAIL --IT WAS 5-11-12 BACK THAT LONG & ABOUT A WEEK LATER OR SO WELL WITH IN THE MONTH I WROTE TO THE FBI & NEVER HEARD ANYTHING ...IF IT WAS INTERNATIONAL NOT IN THIS COUNTRY THEY CANNOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL NO WAY !!!!! SO THAT IS WHY I WOULD LIKE TO BUT CANNOT REPORT THEM & 99% OF THEM ARE OUT OF THE COUNTRY ..I EVEN STILL HAVE MY COMPLIANT INFO WHEN I FILED A COMPLAINT TO THE F.B.I SO THAT IS WHY OKAY ..THIS MIGHT TAKE UP A WHOLE PAGE ..PLEASE PEOPLE READ THRU THIS & USE MY ADVISE I HAVE BEEN THRU IT PLENTY OF TIMES BUT ONLY GOT TAKEN 3 TIMES OUT OF OVER A HUNDRED @ LEAST I GOT A BAD STUFF FOLDER WISH I COULD SEND THEM ALL TO YOU THEN YOU CAN SEE SO THAT IS THE NET SIDE OF SCAMMERS BEST THING TO BE CAREFUL ..& IF THEY MAKE UP A LOT OF EXCUSES FOR SOMETHING IT IS A SCAM THERE'S A LOT IN DATING SITES EVEN FACEBOOK I OUT SMARTED A DUMB GIRL I COULD HAVE GOT IN TROUBLE SHE THOUGHT SHE HAD ME WELL SHE DID NOT PLAN THAT I UNFRIENDED HER & BLOCKED HER & SHE COULD NOT DO ANYTHING ..THERE WAS SOME NUDITY ON IT & I CAME OUT AHEAD I WONT DO THAT ANYMORE I WILL SAY TO BAD YOUR BORED SO MAKE SURE YOU LEARN TO UNFRIEND & BLOCK THEM ON F/B SO YOU GET SCAMMED THEY WILL GET THE BALL DROPPED ON THEM ON F/B CHECK OUT TO SEE IF THEY HAVE MUTUAL FRIENDS if not look t there postings if there is some history to it they are more likey okay & if they want something unfriend them block --learn to do that more legitimate than not & see where they are from if brand new then be more cautious so google that if you do not know that it will show you i just kind of figured it out the unblocking is where it says following then the block click on where you see message the 3 dots to the right click on that ..you will see different stuff to do ..that is how it is done so if wrong google it i had over 100 scams on facebook ..they do not want you to message them on the site or email cause you have proof there so if they want you to go to a messenger tell them no they want to scam you cause no proof but still cannot do anything i have been scammed since 2008 but i dont have records that far back ..so best thing to do is you dont know them leave it that way ...good luck
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You need to report this to your State Attorney General but I fear that if she has freely given away the money, there is little you can do to stop it. I know my mother got very upset when I tried to explain that these people on the phone were not her friends.
You can cancel her telephone - that would help some, but kind of like locking the barn after the horses got out. You can also request a new phone number and explain how the current number is costing your mother a fortune in handouts.
It's pitiful how the elderly are preyed upon. And it's everywhere.
Telemarketers need to be illegal. I told my Mom to tell them that her daughter's handles her money. The no call list is a joke. They allow charities, political calls, surveys and people u have done business with. Junk mail, if they send a postage paid envelope I send the sheet showing her address and write on it to take Mom off their mailing list. If no envelope , I go online and email the companies. Like the cell Idea only allowing the calls that are on the contact list. Problem with that , though, is my Mom could never learn how to use a cell phone.
Great solution with the redirect! Great idea too on ways that REALLY make a difference too. I agree, Publisher's Clearing House is so evil, I saw this lady spending 30 bucks on a small tin of candy!!!! Then, she would not eat it, decided to save it for Christmas gifts. It would be no good by then. But, no convincing her. Here is a secret about PCH. If you go online and really search, it's not easy but find the phone # for customer service, explain that Mom has dementia or has died and request to stop all further communications. Worked for me!
Luckily she now has no landline, and she can barely use the cell phone, so phone solicitors are off limits. I can't stop and scan her mail everyday, so she'll still fall for something once in a while--but the one thing she will not give up is Publisher's Clearing House. Brother has in his basement storage 4 enormous plastic bins packed with the envelopes from them for the last 40 years. She really thinks she's going to win and that's our inheritance!!!! So she insists we hang on to EVERYTHING that came in the envelope, in case she wins. I didn't know PCH was still even a THING!
As far as finding a place that could use her money, or has needs--I have encouraged her to crochet baby blankets, make hygiene kits for Humanitarian Aid centers...things like that. One year I asked her to not give all the grankids and ggkids that $5 bill at Christmas and she helped us to pack 50 Christmas stockings for the local Boys and Girls Club. She helped pack the stockings--and I gave her the letter from the director, thanking our family.
I appreciate that she still wants to occasionally "help out". Finding ways to get her to do it so it's actually meeting a need it harder, and does require my help. The baby blankets are sweet and to many mothers in very poor countries, that may be the only blanket their child has.
So I guess, kind of re-direct the desire to "help" into more tangible ways of helping. It's more work for us, but mother enjoys knowing that her few dollars helped out someone in need, instead of paying someone in a call center.
I also cared for an elderly woman who was hooked on Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes. You want to talk about a scam, that's a biggie!!!!! She spent so much money on needless things like candy, jewelry, gadgets, it never ended but when we went grocery shopping, she was unsure she had enough money in her account! It's tough to watch and even tougher to convince them they are needlessly wasting money on these scams & they really need to save it for themselves! Old habits are very hard to break. If she has dementia (and it's been diagnosed) the person with DPOA can step in and get things under control again, if she is of sound mind still, not sure you can help.
You also do not say the manner in which she is tricked out of her money.
More information, please.
In my husband's case, I monitor incoming mail for scam.
He does not use the computer .
I have discontinued our land line.
He has a cell phone that I have programmed so that only the people on his contact list will make his phone vibrate and ring.
All other incoming calls will only light up his screen. He keeps the phone in a holster on his belt and therefore is unaware of these calls.
My mom has dementia and gave thousands away to charities. She would get so much junk mail in one day - it was unbelievable. She would write checks to anyone and everyone. She also would give money away via credit card over the phone.
Things I did: I took her to the bank, since her account was compromised and the bank manager talked to her - about what not to do. I put her on the do-not-call list. I was able to block certain phone calls from coming to her home. If I was there, I would answer the phone and ask them to take her off the list. I also got a post office box and had her mail sent there. Anything with a prepaid return envelope I would send back requesting to be taken off the mailings.
Dementia or not many seniors fall into this trap. It's sad. If she is using a computer and getting scammed, maybe you can have certain websites blocked. I think a lot of seniors do this because they are bored. I agree with Garden Artist - if she can get involved helping a specific charity - that may be very meaningful for her. Explain to mom that she can't give to everyone, and this specific charity is who she contributes to. If she has dementia - then she really won't comprehend and will continue the behavior until you step in.
said cloudy & cool in the 30's so i said i got you your a scammer & told him you are a lair it was cloudy & cool impossible to have storms told him or her whatever to get lost ...YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR MOM THAT THESE ARE GUYS THAT ARE UNEMPLOYED & THEY ARE TRYING TO GET MONEY OUT OF SUCKERS LIKE YOU !!! EVEN IN NIGERIA I GOT 1 GOING NOW BUSTED THEM BUT STILL KEEPS GOING CAUSE IT THINKS THAT I DO NOT SEE THRU THAT I BET I GOT 100 OF THEM SAVED IN A FOLDER ..SO YOUR MOM MENTAL ENOUGH TO SHOW HER THIS DO IT PRINT IT EVEN -GOOGLE SCAMS & SEE TOO THERE IS MILLIONS SO TELL HER TO STOP THERE LOOKING FOR SUCKERS
ASK FOR A PICTURE IF THEY GIVE ANY - ASK FOR A PICTURE OF THEM HOLDING A CALENDAR POINTING THE DATE OUT WITH A PENCIL OR PEN & ASK THEM TO HOLD KEYS NEXT TO THERE CAR HOLDING KEYS ..SO TRY THAT .REMEMBER THERE IS A SUCKER BORN IN A MINUTE ..WELL WITH THE NET IT HAS TO BE 40 IN A SECOND GOOD LUCK
So I've tried to find ways that "help" can be provided and redirect the donations to specific charities. I've also contacted a number of sources including the VA, local senior centers and others which I don't remember right now.
The VA has a volunteer program; people can perform a range of activities with homebound to give them social opportunities. I haven't been able to utilize this service in our are as the only volunteer lived quite a ways away and wasn't comfortable bringing her dog for therapy for such a distance.
If neighbors have dogs, perhaps they might stop by; buy some doggie biscuits and let your mother give them to the dog(s). That's usually a heartwarming experience for people of any age.
Our senior center accepts clean unused greeting cards (which some so-called charities send prolifically). The cards can also be donated to AL, IL, SNF and other facilities for distribution to residents, especially at Christmas time.
What did your mother used to do to extend herself to others? Is there a way you can translate into current activities?
My niece used to take her young sons to library events in which the boys read to therapy dogs. Apparently the dogs benefit from human interaction as well as provide it to people in need.
Maybe chatting with someone outside of the family would do her a world of good. If you have choices of therapists, find a mature therapist. Sometimes elders don't listen to people who are real young.