Barb - ditto for me. So Midget, is the ? About your concern that if mom goes into SNF and onto Medicaid to pay for her stay, that medicaid will want her house as repayment for care paid?
Is that it? If so, you need to do whatever to have it such that Medicaids estate recovery program aka MERP excludes the house as an asset of her estate BECAUSE you will qualify for the caregiver exemption to MERP. Exemption is basically you show you were a full time caregiver for usually 2 years that kept mom put of a Nh and on Medicaid; it will need some supporting documentation from moms current MD or SW. Now just how best to do this is pretty interdependent on just how your state runs Medicaid and state laws for probate & property. Personally I think mom & you would be best off meeting with an elder law atty NOW to figure out how to do this & BEFORE mom ever goes into SNF or applies for Medicaid. If your state allows for the caregiver exemption to be done upon her entering the SNF so house transfers to your name then, it's better. Mom could live another 6 mos or 6 years, stuff can happen & what if down the road you want to sell house & move into something smaller/better but it's still in mom name; or she dies and your too bereaved to deal with MERP..... Really see if atty can do the whatever's to get house to your name & in tandem with moms application & update moms legal too. Good luck!
This would be nice for you, I am sure. Making you fee that you have obeyed Mom's wishes...funny thing about EOL, there isn't always a moment when you think "OK, yes, today we can bring them home and we'll have the family around, etc." Usually, the patient dies in their own time. Not everyone requires Hospice.
It would require some monumental planning in advance, and perhaps it wouldn't bring the "comfort" you think it will. Is this for her, or more for you? Not judging, just asking.
My daddy died at home, with the family around and he was completely unaware of any of us. This was for us. My FIL died in a hospital, again, surrounded by family, and he too had no idea where he was.
Both were peaceful, quiet experiences.
Would your mom even be aware that she was "home". How is her mental state now? You could take her home and she could linger, requiring a LOT of care for a lot longer than you'd think. Just think it through before you make a commitment to anyone, including yourself. Perhaps she is better off where she is. You're not giving us a lot to go by.
Let me see if I can understand this.... are you asking if you place Mom in a skilled nursing facility, and it comes time for her to pass, that you want to bring her back home for her final days? Is that correct?
Sounds like Mom at one time or more mentioned she wanted to die at home. As Mom progresses with dementia, she may or may not have that option. It depends on her condition in the future and if she would be able to travel back to her home. You would need to pay for Mom transportation back home if she needs medical transport. There might be things you would need to get for Mom to make her comfortable, such as a hospital bed, porta-potty, etc.
Hospice, if you use them, will help Mom whether she is in a skilled nursing facility or if she is at home.
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Is that it? If so, you need to do whatever to have it such that Medicaids estate recovery program aka MERP excludes the house as an asset of her estate BECAUSE you will qualify for the caregiver exemption to MERP. Exemption is basically you show you were a full time caregiver for usually 2 years that kept mom put of a Nh and on Medicaid; it will need some supporting documentation from moms current MD or SW. Now just how best to do this is pretty interdependent on just how your state runs Medicaid and state laws for probate & property. Personally I think mom & you would be best off meeting with an elder law atty NOW to figure out how to do this & BEFORE mom ever goes into SNF or applies for Medicaid. If your state allows for the caregiver exemption to be done upon her entering the SNF so house transfers to your name then, it's better. Mom could live another 6 mos or 6 years, stuff can happen & what if down the road you want to sell house & move into something smaller/better but it's still in mom name; or she dies and your too bereaved to deal with MERP..... Really see if atty can do the whatever's to get house to your name & in tandem with moms application & update moms legal too. Good luck!
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It would require some monumental planning in advance, and perhaps it wouldn't bring the "comfort" you think it will. Is this for her, or more for you? Not judging, just asking.
My daddy died at home, with the family around and he was completely unaware of any of us. This was for us. My FIL died in a hospital, again, surrounded by family, and he too had no idea where he was.
Both were peaceful, quiet experiences.
Would your mom even be aware that she was "home". How is her mental state now? You could take her home and she could linger, requiring a LOT of care for a lot longer than you'd think. Just think it through before you make a commitment to anyone, including yourself. Perhaps she is better off where she is. You're not giving us a lot to go by.
Sounds like Mom at one time or more mentioned she wanted to die at home. As Mom progresses with dementia, she may or may not have that option. It depends on her condition in the future and if she would be able to travel back to her home. You would need to pay for Mom transportation back home if she needs medical transport. There might be things you would need to get for Mom to make her comfortable, such as a hospital bed, porta-potty, etc.
Hospice, if you use them, will help Mom whether she is in a skilled nursing facility or if she is at home.