She has advanced dementia, with minimal motor function. Do I still administer CPR? If I do and she revives, but then would require extraordinary measures to sustain her life, I'd never forgive myself for not honoring her wishes. She can speak, walk, and grasp simple instructions, but she's definitely slipping. In this situation, does someone simply watch a loved one die? It seems inhumane to me.
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It is not inhumane to let someone die naturally. It can be more inhumane to try to keep them alive when they are suffering. It was a thought that I had when I had a rabbit that was suffering greatly. I realized that keeping him alive had become more about me than about him. I hope if I ever get to that point that whoever is in charge will let me cross over to the other side. Death is something that we all have to go through one day.
Have you considered bringing in hospice? They can help you get comfortable with the idea of her passing and give you help in understanding where she is in the process. I brought in hospice for my mom (she didn't have Alzheimers) but was definitely going downhill fast. She died one week after I started with them. They predicted the day she would die and I was able to spend the entire day with her from 10 AM until I found her at 11:35 PM. I had gone out to lie down and when I came back in, she was gone. She had been semi-comatose for several days. I got to talk to her, play music for her, hold her hand, and say what I needed to say in that final day.
I hope you can honor your mom's wishes and be comfortable with the idea that a peaceful passing (without doing CPR or calling 911) is a way to honor your mom and her wishes. Hugs...
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Symptom Treatment only: For comfort only.
No artificial nutrition
Do Not resuscitate
Do not intubate
It comes down to if they stop breathing or heart is stopped then that's it. I think otherwise, you need to call 911. You should have the DNR ready for emergency personnel.
Probably not!
I agree with the previous comment about contacting Hospice to help you with this journey you are on with your mom. They can provide so much support and guidance for you and also caregiver respite so you can have some time to go do errands or other things while they are at your house taking care of your mom.
Better yet is to see if she qualifies for hospice or palliative care services, which usually includes a 24/7 number to call for immediate assistance, as well as prepares the paperwork needed for an expected death in the home.
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