Hoarder dad with dementia wants to visit his old house but I fear his reaction to seeing it without the rubbish. What should I do?

We took mom back a couple of times and she invariably acted up after we left. Now that it's been a long time she doesn't ask and we don't take her. It would only be very upsetting. (I've cleaned up the hoarder house, too. The old her would be shocked, outraged, and upset. The "new", more progressed in her disease her, I'm not sure but not willing to find out.)

Your advice is gratefully accepted and appreciated!!!

My husband felt I should take Mom back for a visit. I said No. First, I didn't want the hassel or emotional things that could happen. Second, I think its cruel to take them and then force them to leave. Like said, home is not always the last place they lived.

Cleaned 3 houses and added their stuff my my house in the past 6 years. Finally told dad every time he asks "did we bring this item?" "No, my sister/brother/family member has it". Saves me so much aggravation. He wanted to bring every tool, decoration, 100 pairs of old shoes etc. I threw out, donated, gave away, sold so much of his stuff. I still have way too much, now it is all going. Donating is very good for all. He asks where something is? "My sister/brother/other family member has it".... stops the conversation right there.

Time to use "therapeutic fibs" to keep Dad away from his house. Make up whatever excuses you think Dad would accept. Such as you can't today, you have a doctor appointment, or the car needs repair.

Since Dad is dealing with dementia, eventually he will forget about his house. Now, in many cases, when a parent says they want to visit their home, home is actually the house they grew up in. So you will need to find out which house Dad is talking about.