What should I do if nursing home won't get dad up to the toilet to poop?

If he's combative and resists when they try to transfer him to the toilet they have no choice but to put him in bed and have him use the bedpan. He shouldn't be using his brief if he's able to tell when he needs to go, though.

If there is a physical therapy department, ask for an evaluation. The PT can determine the best method to help him with his elimination needs.

I know he's your dad and you love him but the staff can't put him and themselves in danger if touleting him is unsafe.

Medicare will pay for a commode.

Oh, I hope Memory Care works out better for you. I like it so much better for Dad than the few nursing homes I looked at. But what about his combative behavior incidents?

Freqflyer - Dad is self pay. He has gone from in-home caregivers, to hospital, to rehab, to assisted living, and back to rehab, all in a 9-month period. AL would not let him return because of (3) incidents with combative behavior. Memory care is probably what he needs. The closest facility is 35 miles from me, and NH is only 5 miles, so that is the reason I chose NH. Might be time to reconsider.

Gunner, where did your Dad live prior to moving to the nursing home, and what did he do regarding going to the bathroom? Did he have a private caregiver prior?

When it comes to nursing homes, everyone is overworked. And many have a triage system where say your Dad needed help to the bathroom he wouldn't see anyone for quite some time, as the nurses and aides were busy with residents who are in a medical emergency. At night, the staff is limited so in an emergency, same can run to another area to help out.

I see from your profile that your Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia, plus you mentioned he is a fall risk. Has the memory issue increased, is that why Dad in in a nursing home? May I ask if he is self-pay or is Medicaid paying for his care.

If he is self-pay, there are Assisted Living facilities that have Memory Care. Dad might get more attention. The cost is less than a skilled nursing home. My Dad lived in one, he had memory issues and was a fall risk, we were quite pleased with the place. Dad had no complaints.

You can buy a bedside commode for $100 or less. If the nh's only objection is that they don't happen to have one on hand, might that be a solution for you? Of course they would have to agree to to keep it clean, and to help him transfer to it.

Would his doctor prescribe a bedside commode for him?