Hi, I have posted here before as a caregiver for my mother. She has been suffering from delirium for quite some time now and it's to the point where her health is severely declining. I have consulted many professionals who agree with me that unless she comes out of delirium, she will waste away. This case is somewhat complicated in that both of my two older brothers are physicians and are entrusted with making medical for my mom. I really do not understand why brothers are doing nothing. It's to the point that our family if falling apart because of the arguments over this. I can no longer communicate with them. To be honest, the doctor who is treating my mother in the nursing center is incompetent to say the least. He reluctant to make any changes to her meds that she was taking upon being admitted to the nursing facility. The worst part of this is that my brothers will not take any action because they do not rub this doctor the wrong way – it’s all politics and it’s sickening. When I consulted with a geriatric psychiatrist, he says that I need to advocate for my mom. I want to send her to the Geriatric Center at the University of Michigan Medical Hospital for a second opinion and a comprehensive assessment. The Geriatric Center is a research facility and clinical facility, and the University of Michigan Medical Hospital is renowned for their excellence. At this point, I don’t know what to do. I am not even sure under which category to post this thread. I have no authority in making medical decisions, but I have to advocate for my mother. I do not even have the funds to have her transported by ambulance nor pay for the evaluation. I am not going to give up under no means. Are there any laws to protect my mother from what I regard as negligence? Negligence sounds like a harsh word, but I cannot think of any other word to more accurately describe what is taking place. Is there really anything that I can do? I never realized how much caregivers have to fight to protect their parents who have made sacrifices so that we siblings could have a better life. When I consulted professionals about this situation with my mother, I am so embarrassed to mention that my two older brothers are physicians. I am always asked what do your brothers think. I feel guilty as if I am causing all of the ruckus and tearing apart family relationships. You don’t have to read further, only if you read about an example of what I am up against. My brother knows that the doctor has my mom on a drug that is the main culprit for her delirium. The drug is contained in a small patch that is placed behind the ear. The patch lasts for three days. After three days, the old patch is removed and a new one is place behind the other ear. So every three days, the patch alternates from the left ear to the right and so on. My brother and I saw my mother slip into delirium that day after she received the patch. I have been trying every means to get him to do something about, but he blew me off. I kept getting on his case about this. So he told me that he was going to taper off the drug and leave the patch on until all of the drug had dispersed. So, every day that I visited my mom, I noticed that the patch was still behind her left ear – which is what I expected. And the male nurse who took care of my mom for the most part always made a point of saying they the patch is staying behind the left ear until the patch was depleted of the medication. I went to visit to visit my mom one day and I began to wonder why wasn’t the patch removed – it has been well over a week. Well, that day, a new female nurse was covering for the male nurse. So I asked her “when the patch will be removed?” She check the records and told the patch will be removed in two days. Then she told me that they change the patch every three days and since they had placed a new patch on her yesterday, they will replace the patch in two days. I thought she wasn’t aware of the fact that the patch has been on for over a week. Then, it seemed strange to me that it takes two weeks for a three day patch to become depleted of the drug. So, I asked the nurse “When was the patch discontinued?” She checked my mom’s records and told me that the patch was never discontinued and that she has been getting a new patch every three days since the beginning. My brother went to the extreme to tell the male nurse to lie to me and say the patch was discontinued. Also, he told the male nurse to say to me that “See! She is off the medicine and her mental status has not changed. So the patch has nothing to do with her mental status.” Also, the male nurse was instructed not to alternate the placement of new patches from left to right ear. He was told to put the patch on the left ear only, this way I would be lead to believe that my mom was being weaned off the drug. This is an example of what I am up against.
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