My husband is angry all the time and i know he believes anything that is wrong is my fault. How can I deal with this?

Thank you and if there is a chance the next stage will be kinder that is helpful. He says horrible things and it is very hard to come forward into that.

Dealing with all the challenging behaviors associated with Alzheimer's/demensia is so difficult. I am dealing with it with my mom and it is painful, I can't imagine dealing with it with my husband. For me, I try to distance the behaviors that are part of the disease, from the person I love as my mom. It helps me to deal better. I can tell you that one good thing is, this too shall pass.... Each stage has it's own challenges, but they do pass to something new. Some are more taxing emotionally, others more taxing physically. Come here and vent when you need to and know that you are a wonderful wife and caregiver.

"I just want the strength to be ok in the face of this." Oh, I know what you mean. There is the behavior you want to exhibit and then there is the way you behave. It is hard. Are you seeing a mental health therapist? That can help give you strength and also sort out what you should do with your strength.

I want to feel more loving and kind but this is just not ok to be mad at me as I am the care giver so it is not about fair I know I just want the strength to be ok in the face of this.

Many of us know exactly what you're talking about, manatakei. Feel free to vent about what is going on here.