My mom passed 6 months ago. Should I finally move out of the state or stay?

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bloomschool Asked August 2017

My mom passed 6 months ago. Should I finally move out of the state or stay?

So, as you probably know from my posts, my mom has passed almost 6 months ago. I am feeling a whole lot better. My goal for the last few years has been to move out of state back to where I lived as a boy, as I love the area and always felt it was home. I live in the Chicago area, but never felt it was home. Been here since 1973. My career was here. So all I have been thinking of is moving back "home". Today, I had doubts arise about moving. The winters are brutal where I want to move. Not sure if I want to go through winters that difficult. Then I thought, well, the political climate is bad, world situation is crazy bad, getting up and moving is expensive, etc, etc, etc. So today I thought maybe I am better off staying put, not moving. So I have this inward argument going on, should I or shouldnt move!!!!! I am afraid to move on one hand, the unknown factors. On the other hand, I really do want to move. So how do I solve this dilema? Thanks.

End of Life Family Caregiver Travel

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score 1 · Answer 1

I also plan to move when I'm no longer a caregiver. I've though about moving elsewhere in the US (or France when I'm dreaming unrealistically) for years but plan to explore potential sites before making any decisions. There are so many factors, climate change being one of the more significant ones.

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score 2 · Answer 2

My father passed away 10 months ago and I'm struggling with the same decision. It is hard one to make. I am trying to follow Blannie's advice and wait till at least the one year mark and possibly the two year mark. I still feel unsettled about my dad's passing. I hate leaving the area because I feel like I am abandoning my father and his memory. But yet there are times I feel like the memories are too hard and I need to make a fresh start. I keep going back and forth on this as well. I will try and be patient with myself before making a final decision.

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score 3 · Answer 3

They say to wait a year before making any big decisions after the death of a loved one. I think you need to stay where you are until you're more sure about what you want to do. I also want to leave the Chicago area (maybe) but I'm not in any hurry to go. My mom died three months ago...so I will wait at least another nine months before I make any big decisions. And I'll do a lot of research first.

I enjoy going to the real estate sites and looking at houses all over the country and imagining myself living there. Maybe do a bit of that for where you're thinking of moving? Start reading the online newspaper about where you want to move. Start looking at events in the area. Just see if it feels like home.

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score 5 · Answer 4

when and if the time is right to go you'll know it.....
take time to make your decision don't rush into anything. you sound as if you are established in life where you are right now and to sell and pick up and go is great but if your not not happy where you have gone its a hell of a lot harder to start all over again.........I am a firm believer in the pros and cons list and also a couple week visit to the promise land your thinking about going to because maybe its not really like you remember it.....good luck with what ever you decide...........

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score 9 · Answer 5

I think you solve it by recognizing that you're too conflicted now to resolve it. You need time to adjust to the loss of your mother, to really think through how you want to live your life from now forward, and recognize that there's no immediate need to make a decision.

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score 8 · Answer 6

I think somebody mentioned going there for an extended holiday to see if everything is as good as you have remembered, I think that would be a good start. If you find out that it is perfect except for the weather would you consider snowbirding your way south for a month or two each winter?

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My mom passed 6 months ago. Should I finally move out of the state or stay?

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