How do you get grandpa to take a shower and change his clothes?

Pam, I just saw your post about, your dad? (Is it your dad or FOL?) I don't know what his ailment is, but, refusing to bathe was one of the first symptoms of my LO's dementia. She would refuse to shower and would lie to me about it. She'd say that she had just showered, but, I'd go into the bathroom and the tub, soap and towel would be dry. She also refused to wash her hands, even if I insisted. I saw her do kitty litter cleanup once without washing her hands. She then went into kitchen to prepare food, without washing her hands. I said that if she didn't wash her hands, that I would not eat and would leave. She still refused to do it and I had to leave. I knew then that something was not right.

I'd consider if this person has any other symptoms(refusing to accept that food can spoil, being disagreeable, hoarding items, etc.) and see if they need a medical diagnosis. Sometimes, it's not just being a senior, lazy or set in your ways. It can be part of a larger problem. 

Thank you, everyone. We have tried all of the above. He does go into the bathroom and use a washcloth and wash up, but like Eyerishlass said, it isn't enough. We have ordered up a CNA bath aide to come in to assist him. He says no, but we will see. The cost is $24.00 for two hours of help. (this is a minimum) They will also change his bedding and throw in a load of clothes, as needed.

When he lived with me there came a time when my dad stopped bathing. I couldn't figure out why. Was he lazy? Did he feel unsure of himself getting in and out of the walk-in shower? I was stumped. For several days I beat around the bush dropping hints that he should shower but that didn't work. Finally I just came right out and asked him. Yes, he felt unsteady walking in and out of the shower. He said that he would just clean up at the sink however my dad had "intestinal problems" and needed a more thorough washing than at the sink. I tried to gently explain to him that a wash-up at the sink wasn't good enough but he wasn't taking my hint. I finally had to tell him, as kindly as I could, that he had an odor.

Someone should kindly let grandpa know that he doesn't smell fresh. No one wants to walk around knowing they smell. It might be just the thing that gets him back into the shower.

It sounds like he needs to wear a depends if he doesn't already. Maybe you can bribe him. Find a favorite food he really, really loves and tell him you will make it once he bathes. If that doesn't work you can tell him a social worker wants to come over so he has to shower or else they will place him in a home. I know the last one may sound mean, but him being unclean can lead to alot of health problems that won't be good for him. Good luck!

Pam, sometimes elder do not want family to get that personal, thus they will refuse showers. You can try calling around to the carergiving agencies and see if any of them have a "bath aide" and what is their hourly rate.... all this bath aide does is bathe the person and gets them dressed. Maybe Grandpa would be more accepting to a stranger to help him. These Aides know what to do to get that elder to bathe :)

I remember back when one of my Dad's caregivers try to get Dad to take a shower. Dad was pretty shy and kept saying no. Well his caregiver put her hands on her hips and said "Mr. Bob, I raised a houseful of boys, there isn't anything I haven't seen before".... that got Dad laughing and it smooth sailing after that.

As for your Grandpa's clothes, I assume he doesn't run the washing machine himself, so grab those clothes while he is asleep.