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anonymous7311 Asked September 2017

How can a person deal with caring for someone with dementia/Alzheimer's when it seems all we do is clean up pee and poop all day long?

Doesn't communicate. She can talk but for some reason she doesn't. She doesn't ask for anything or tell us if something is wrong. We need to constantly take her to the bathroom and sometimes she obsesses and goes every 5 minutes, literally, on her own, but yet still goes in her diaper. She also has been going all over on the floor in her room. We have been taking care of her 24/7 for 9 years now and she quit starting or joining in on conversations about 5-6 years ago. If we talk to her she usually just looks at us. We have to repeat ourselves and say answer us. She is non-responsive to any kind of activity we try to involve her in--coloring books, puzzles and as it is our time is very limited in this area because we are trying to take care of all the housekeeping needed just in her room and her hygiene not to mention our home and yard. So, in reality, we basically are her clean up crew at this point.

JessieBelle Sep 2017
Jeanne had a good suggestion. Qualifying for Medicaid will be based on your mother's assets alone. You can check into it for your state at www.medicaid.gov . It also has the application there if you decide to do it. Good luck. There is a good reason that the book about taking care of someone with dementia is titled "36 Hour Day." It is time consuming and exhausting.

jeannegibbs Sep 2017
Would your loved one qualify for MediCal? That would cover either some in-home care or nursing home placement (which sounds like what she needs). She needs more care than you can give her on your own. If finances are what prevents having more care, that is the topic you should be looking into. You might get started by contacting your Area Agency of Aging.

Please let us know how this is going for you.

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anonymous7311 Sep 2017
She has been evaluated recently and also labs were done to check UTI or deficiencies of any kind. All came out well. Her cardiologist even took her off her BP and cholesterol meds. We personally feel she should be in a facility because like I mentioned before our time is pretty tight. I'd like to take her on walks more frequently throughout the day and have more one on one time for activities. Like jjariz mentioned I feel it's more of the stage she's in and her primary Dr. , cardiologist, and neurologist all agreed. Currently they are more concerned with us and caregiver burnout. Because the cheapest facilities start at $4000 a month it is way out of the question for us unfortunately. I was just wondering how people in our situation deal with this and maybe had suggestions. Thanks for all you input.

jjariz Sep 2017
That's the reality of stage 6-7 Alzheimer's. It's a horrible disease. If she's requiring more care than you can provide, then she should be in a care facility. Call the Area Agency on Aging.

JessieBelle Sep 2017
I don't know if there really are answers. When dementia is advanced, we are no longer dealing with someone who possesses the capabilities they once had. We often are left with the option of being willing to do it ourselves or turning it over to professionals. Realizing that can actually be a blessing, because it lets us know we're not doing anything wrong. dawnone, the person you are caring for probably doesn't realize anything she is doing is wrong. She has forgotten how to do these things. You'll have to decide how much you can clean up after and if using the bathroom on the floor is harming the house or your health. Big hugs of encouragement.

Rainey69 Sep 2017
Has anyone evaluated her lately? A doctor or another professional? Does she have financial ability to hire or be placed in a facilty for people with dementia? Yes, I know they are expensive and even private in home care is as well but handling dementia is nothing we were born knowing how to handle. If she can talk but won't, and can get to the toilet on her own but won't, I would have her evaluated to see if she may be suffering from depression as well. Who knows but don't just leave it, something seems a bit off there. Hang in there, there may be someone who can help get her motivated again if they figure out what's going on with her. I am a caregiver and sometimes things are wrong that they cannot communicate, such as UTI's or depression, I have even seen anemia take people down!

Grammyteacher Sep 2017
We do lots of pee and poop at our house too ;-). I can relate to that!

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