After a month away from assisted living due to the hurricane, I just took my dad back. He is now saying he knew I'd do this to him. What do I do?
After a month away from assisted living due to the hurricane, I just took my dad back. He is now screaming at me saying he knew I would do this to him and calling friends and relatives to come get him. What do I do?
How very, very sad, for the entire family. Dad needs to be in a care center that can deal with his dementia, and Dad doesn't want to be there. You'll find dozens -- hundreds if you go back far enough -- of similar posts. A care center is the best option for parent or spouse, but the loved one resists, objects, screams, etc.
The twist here is that you did have to take Dad out of the facility because of a natural disaster. Now it is time for him to return.
A few questions, that may help others give you advice: 1) When Dad originally enter the care center, how long did it take him to settle in? 2) Is this the same center he was in originally? 3) Do his friends and other relatives understand why he has to be there? Are they part of the solution, or part of the problem? 4) Aside from this screaming, how is Dad's behavior? Does he take meals with others? Does he cooperate with his cares? Does he sleep through the night? 5) Does the facility have access to a geriatric psychiatrist who may be able to help Dad through this second settling in?
The only advice I have is do NOT feel guilty. Dad's dementia is Not Your Fault. That Dad needs specialized care is Not Your Fault. That a hurricane disrupted the previous status quo is Not Your Fault.
I hope others who have been in this situation can offer practical advice from their experience.
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The twist here is that you did have to take Dad out of the facility because of a natural disaster. Now it is time for him to return.
A few questions, that may help others give you advice:
1) When Dad originally enter the care center, how long did it take him to settle in?
2) Is this the same center he was in originally?
3) Do his friends and other relatives understand why he has to be there? Are they part of the solution, or part of the problem?
4) Aside from this screaming, how is Dad's behavior? Does he take meals with others? Does he cooperate with his cares? Does he sleep through the night?
5) Does the facility have access to a geriatric psychiatrist who may be able to help Dad through this second settling in?
The only advice I have is do NOT feel guilty. Dad's dementia is Not Your Fault. That Dad needs specialized care is Not Your Fault. That a hurricane disrupted the previous status quo is Not Your Fault.
I hope others who have been in this situation can offer practical advice from their experience.