My son calls me every foul name in the book because I left my mothers home after taking care of her for 10 years. I gave him an ultimatum that he and his girlfriend and child move out or I would move out. I thought since I got caregiver burnout, I needed to move out but for his sake I gave him a chance to make a move. After moving, I now feel extreme guilt that he is there having to take care of her. I am POA and give him most of her money in order to care for her, horrible.. He has free rent and pays no house bills. It hurts so bad and I spend every weekend in bed crying and in pain from multiple health issues. I still take care of her every morning. The girlfriend does absolutely NOTHING to help out. She will not cook and leaves the house looking like a pig sty. I hate even going over there. My son abuses me verbally and emotionally making me feel like a complete loser and horrible daughter and worthless. I have suggested placing my mother in a facility but then he starts his rant about how cruel i am. Really, moving out took care of not listening to his abuse but i feel so guilty that i still cant have any kind of life. It's horrible. I was always there for him throughout his childhood and adult years.
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https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-to-do-if-mother-wont-eat-meals-i-prepare-431558.htm
Profile: " "I am caring for my mother, living at home and the primary ailment is alzheimer's / dementia"
Sheba66's post on that thread: "I am 32 years old, male, and my wife
and six year old daughter and I live with my grandmother in her home. ....."
"I could not bring myself to agree to my mom's terms, so she moved to an apartment. "
This thread: Sheba66's profile, same as in the other thread. But now you have a son instead of a daughter.
Hmmmmmmm - we have a mystery here. Sheba, how can you clarify these inconsistences? Do you have a daughter as in first post or son as in this post? Are you, or were you, living with your mother but left b/c of your son, or are you living with your grandmother?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Good for you for making a move.
Free rent?
Girlfriend does nothing?
Child in the home?
Pig Sty?
Son is abusive-
to you,
to girlfriend?, to child,? or in front of child?
Don't go there for 3 days, call child protective services and Adult protective services.
If your son is doing drugs, tell the authorities.
You did good lady, now follow through.
Blow this criminal situation out of the water.
Oh, and follow Garden Artist's suggestion to get psychiatric care....you have been abused, brain washed, and probably gaslighted by your son.
Stop giving him any money at all...pay the bills for your mother yourself, bring groceries (or have them delivered.) Are you and mother supporting him?
This is not criticism, but it's a clear indication that professional help is needed. And if it's been going on for some time, as it seems to have been, you might not even be aware of the complex dynamics of his abuse, your guilt and apparent self recrimination.
I emphasize that I am not criticizing you, but I think blunt words are appropriate to address the situation so you can get help.