How can I encourage my 96-year-old father to bathe?

Contact an agency who will come in and bathe him. Yes, in answer to your question, the skin should be kept clean as it is the largest organ on the body.

With my father in law we discovered his aversion to bathing was a combination of factors.
The first being he did not want be told what to do as he was a “grown man” in charge of his own life and did not need anyone to direct him. He also thinks he showered only the day before because his afflicted brain has no real concept of time.
My husband and I were at wits end trying to figure out what to do as he smelled so badly family and friends were coming to us expressing concern.
Finally we decided to sit and casually speak to him about why he was against bathing on a day he seemed more cognizant.
The first was an obvious reason, he was afraid of falling. We bought a bath chair that fits into the shower and hired a CNA to come and assist with showering - mostly to remove clothing and redress afterward.
Second, he is frightened to have water running over his head. We later learned through speaking with others, this is not an uncommon fear in individuals with Alzheimer’s or dementia. We bought a handheld shower wand.
He still does not want to be told when to shower but we have learned how to address the issue in a manner that helps him think it’s his idea in addition to changing our own expectation of how often he needs to bathe. Daily is too stressful for him so twice a week seemed like a more realistic goal.
Maybe some of what worked for us will work for you too. Hopefully our situation will stay as it is for a long time but let’s face it, it’s always a never ending roller coaster of changes when dealing with dementia!
Good luck!!

You said no signs of shower being used? Is he possibly just washing himself at the sink? Do you see any wet washcloths? What about trying a baby wipe type product. As for the urine on the floor it really sounds like he just needs help to the bathroom. Once there you can either stay near or just go outside the door. Let him know you not looking as he may be embarrassed a little.

Not bathing and having toxic waste in your home is a health hazard since bacteria from the outside of your body can work its way inside especially if you ever get cut. I don't know how many tricks you've tried to get him to bathe, but if nothing works then the only thing left is to pick him up and put him in the shower and give him a G.I. bath as a last resort

As for thinking the toilet is leaking, I seriously doubt it. He's missing the toilet and he needs to stand closer because it's shorter than he thinks.

If he's incontinent it's probably time for adult pull-ups

This is a topic that's been raised frequently. Use the search function to search on " parent not bathing", or a similar phrase, and you'll find lots of other posts on the subject, including ones which address the nonthreatening sponge bath and no rinse products.

I am reluctant to recommend a resource I haven't personally used or experienced, but our local Alzheimer's Association offers this DVD from their lending library. Maybe you can see if your office has it too: see "Bathing Without A Battle" at http://bathingwithoutabattle.unc.edu/

Check out "Products and Supplies" at the above website. Who knew there were so many helps for bathing?!

Disclosure: I'm not affiliated with the group that publishes the DVD/course in any way. My thought process here is that if the Alzheimer's Association likes it enough to lend it out, it's good enough to give it a try. Good luck!

At your dad's age he may feel unsafe showering and I haven't come across any elderly person who would admit to that. My dad went through the same thing. I knew he wasn't showering and I tried to gently ask him why but I received vague answers. With his permission I hired a bath aide through his doctor's office and she came a few times and did a great job. She even trimmed his beard and eyebrows. But after several visits with the aide my dad started showering on his own again.

As for the pee I think that too is just your dad's age. At 96 years old he's just not as quick and nimble as he once was. Things start to slow down. He also has a 96 year old bladder which loses its elasticity over time. It can't hold as much as it used to and the bladder muscles weaken as well.

Where the soiled clothes are concerned you might have to do more laundry. I would go through my dad's room and take anything I'd seen him wear in the last few days whether i saw visible dirt or not. I kept a box of latex gloves on the washer and I'd don a pair before rifling through my dad's clothes to extract tissues or hearing aids or anything else that might be in the pockets. My dad had bowel issues so the gloves were a must.

Does any of this affect your dad's health or safety? Probably not. One could argue that he's at risk for a UTI but no more so than any other elderly person. He ought to be showering at least a couple of times a week but if he's not buy some bath wipes and place them in his bathroom but caution him NOT TO FLUSH THEM. Maybe he'll use them to clean himself up a bit and they're better than nothing.

You need to contact an agency that provides assistance to the elderly. They deal with this problem every day and will know how to address it. You won’t be able to get him into the shower but an aide trained to bathe the elderly will be able to do so safely. As far as soiled clothing goes, remove the items and replace them with clean ones. A person with dementia won’t know the difference. Replace underwear with depends. A person with dementia can easily be made compliant as they aren’t aware when these changes are made.

Your Dad most likely suffers from some degree of dementia. His priorities are no longer on cleanliness. My Mom lives with me. She, age 84, also often refuses to shower saying she doesn't get dirty anymore. Much pleading and cajoling are necessary to get her in her shower twice a month. She doesn't smell urine anymore, so she truly believes she is clean. Your dad may also have lost much of his sense of smell by his age. If you haven't set-up an 'adjustable bath transfer bench,' do so. Cost is less than $100 for the bench. This will allow him to sit on the end of the bench while outside the shower and slowly transfer himself into the shower without fear of falling. This may held him feel more comfortable. He will sit for the entire shower and dry off there, too. A hand held shower head will make it easier for your Dad as will hand rails. Should you need to help him yourself or arrange for health care persons to come in and help him shower, these additions make it easier for you/them to assist your Dad.
I solved the problem of urine around the toilet by changing the carpet around the toilet daily...more laundry, yet more sanitary. My Mom doesn't like to wear pads, so I also have the problem of urine drips all the way to her bathroom from her living room. I clean her floors daily, if necessary. Mom allows washable pee pads on her chair, which I change daily.
Similar to your situation with your Dad, my most ongoing problem is getting my Mom to change her house dresses. I haven't found a solution for that...yet.
Best of luck!