What do I tell my mom when she doesnt want a caretaker there with her?

How much is your mom able to understand? I think that matters. because with some stages, you can just provide the person with care and consideration and if she complains, just say you understand, but, this is what the doctor ordered, so it has to be complied with. Rules and regulations of Medicare, you know how that is. For some people that might work. But, if she is not too advanced, she night call the police or try to leave the house. So, I"d consider just how much resistance she would put up. If it's just her verbally saying she doesn't like it, then, I'd find a caretaker trained to work around that and then do what has to be done. People with dementia often resist care and are not able to use good judgment. I would put aside her unreasonable negativity about it.

Does she live alone? If that's the case and she might bolt the door, then, I'd seek a consult with an attorney to find out your options to obtain Guardianship, so you can make those decisions on her behalf for her own safety.

One of my friends told her mom that the caregiver was a friend that was studying for a class and needed to have hours *signed off* to get certified. Mom never knew that it was being paid for out of her funds, but she was safe. One microwave fire that evacuated the entire assisted living she was at convinced friend that 1:1 care was crucial.