Mannye, your Mom is in a Nursing Home for a reason, she needs a village to take care of her.
Is Mom asking to "go home"? Please note when an elder who has memory issues says they want to go home, they want to go back to their childhood home where everything was simple, easy, and fun being a child.
Dementia care gets harder and harder as time goes on. I live with my grandma who has dementia but I'm lucky in that my dad works and cares for both of us. It's a struggle still at times too even with grandma using food stamps for her own bills and paying dad rent which he then pays to me for my expenses. My dad pays for food for myself and the house is paid for already. It's still a struggle.
This doesn't even touch the dementia itself. I was going to go on and on about their care but decided that really all you need to think about is the fact that for 24/7 this person who is used to that kind of care and probably requires it, will be requiring you to be availability. Sleeping will be a luxury. It's like a toddler that never grows up and instead sometimes gets worse over time. It's like reliving the terrible 2's forever. At least that's my experience of it. Are you ready to take that on?
I'm sorry you quit your job so quickly. I wish in some ways you had kept your job and your ability to live and instead tried to get support from the state set up so that you could keep a job or some kind and still care for her. Depending on what stage your mother is in, sleeping could be difficult for her and also for you. She probably has had help going to the bathroom, bathing, dressing, eating, drinking, and even getting to sleep. Often times dementia patients make their own sleeping schedule which causes it to be hard.
Just make sure you know what you are getting into before bringing someone home from a care facility. Caregiving is no easy tasks and basically results in you giving up your life for whoever you are caring for.
Before you get into this, learn a little about what it means. I'm sorry you quit your job so quickly, since you don't know yet if she will come home. Would it be possible to get your job back at least until you figure it out?
You need to go into this with your eyes wide open, knowing what you are getting into. Your mother will need stability. If she has dementia, she'll need someone with her a good part of the time. As the disease progresses, she'll need someone with her all the time. Read a bit about dementia and see if you think it will be something you can handle. Dementia can be both physically and emotionally difficult to handle.
Weigh the care you can give to that she is receiving in the facility. Which would be better? I would base my decision on that and not that you and your mother want to live in the house again. The house can become like a jail for both of you as the disease progresses.
Is she in assisted living or in a nursing home? I'm confused after reading your profile. You are aware that at some point someone with Alzheimer's/dementia reaches a point where more than one person is required for their care? What is your plan for that? How will you support yourself and tend to your own need for health insurance without the income from a job? I think all of this needed to be worked out before you quit your job.
This question is very similar to one asked earlier which included a question about the police being called if you took your mother out of the nursing home.
You quit your job so that you can care for your mom.
How are you going to support yourself? Is mom going to pay you for caring for her? Does the person who is POA agree to that? Does mom has the funds to pay for your to caregive, and for two more shifts of folks to caregive? If she's in a Nursing Home, by definition, her level of "need of care" is for three shifts of caregivers. You are one person.
How are you going to support yourself after you mom dies?
You want to bring her home. The questions are, what does mom want, what kind of care does she require and can you assure your cousin that mom will be better off at home, and that providing what she needs will be within mom's means?
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Is Mom asking to "go home"? Please note when an elder who has memory issues says they want to go home, they want to go back to their childhood home where everything was simple, easy, and fun being a child.
Now take a few minutes and read this article, and the many replies https://www.agingcare.com/articles/living-with-elderly-parents-do-you-regret-the-decision-133798.htm as it is a real eye opener.
This doesn't even touch the dementia itself. I was going to go on and on about their care but decided that really all you need to think about is the fact that for 24/7 this person who is used to that kind of care and probably requires it, will be requiring you to be availability. Sleeping will be a luxury. It's like a toddler that never grows up and instead sometimes gets worse over time. It's like reliving the terrible 2's forever. At least that's my experience of it. Are you ready to take that on?
I'm sorry you quit your job so quickly. I wish in some ways you had kept your job and your ability to live and instead tried to get support from the state set up so that you could keep a job or some kind and still care for her. Depending on what stage your mother is in, sleeping could be difficult for her and also for you. She probably has had help going to the bathroom, bathing, dressing, eating, drinking, and even getting to sleep. Often times dementia patients make their own sleeping schedule which causes it to be hard.
Just make sure you know what you are getting into before bringing someone home from a care facility. Caregiving is no easy tasks and basically results in you giving up your life for whoever you are caring for.
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You need to go into this with your eyes wide open, knowing what you are getting into. Your mother will need stability. If she has dementia, she'll need someone with her a good part of the time. As the disease progresses, she'll need someone with her all the time. Read a bit about dementia and see if you think it will be something you can handle. Dementia can be both physically and emotionally difficult to handle.
Weigh the care you can give to that she is receiving in the facility. Which would be better? I would base my decision on that and not that you and your mother want to live in the house again. The house can become like a jail for both of you as the disease progresses.
This question is very similar to one asked earlier which included a question about the police being called if you took your mother out of the nursing home.
How are you going to support yourself? Is mom going to pay you for caring for her? Does the person who is POA agree to that? Does mom has the funds to pay for your to caregive, and for two more shifts of folks to caregive? If she's in a Nursing Home, by definition, her level of "need of care" is for three shifts of caregivers. You are one person.
How are you going to support yourself after you mom dies?
What is Mom's mental state? Can she revoke the POA?