My mom moved in with me in April after breaking her foot and tearing ligaments in her knee. I'm so sorry I did not move her into ALF at that time! Now, I'm unable to find a place she can afford and don't see this as, "my calling" to live out life in this sacrificial mode. She is so delusional, negative and ungrateful! I'm miserable. She is continuously comparing my care for her with what she, "sacrificed for me" when I was a child. I don't feel as if I owe her my adult life in misery because of what she did as a parent! In this vent, is my question - how do I reverse this decision and get this woman out of my house??!!
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Use her funds (and then Medicaid) to pay for her care. She is NOT your responsibility.
You are not obliged to provide hand's on care or housing for your mother. You can arrange for her care and housing, paid for with her funds or with entitlements and subsidies.
Talk to your local Area Agency on Aging (it's on your county website) about getting a "needs assessment". They will also generally provide information about paying for care. Do that TODAY.
Mother can be angry. Her anger won't kill either one of you.
Getting her out helpfully and politely and for her own good because she deserves more service than you can provide would be wonderful. But getting her out forcefully and with her very angry with you may be necessary. And any way you do it you will feel unearned guilt. But having her out of there will be so much better than living in misery, any struggle to make it happen.
Others will have practical ideas for how to accomplish that. I want you to feel empowered to act!