My daddy died two years ago from cancer. I am now starting to have dreams of him dying. Is that something you have experienced?

My dad passed away in August 2016. 3 months ago I dreamt he was in hospital and waiting to die. He died in hospital and I didnt see him that evening as I had to go back for my car. He died during the night.
My grandmother always said , when you have a bad dream, give to charity and make the intention for the bad dream. I did that. I bought a lot of bread and gave it away.
Two weeks later I dream't of my dad smiling and laughing. I visit his grave and have a sense that he is at peace now. I hope you find that answer for yourself.

Grief has no timetable. Maybe issues right after his death you were unable to deal with but are now showing up. Hugs to you.Everybody's grief journey is different. Again at the risk of sounding preachy, please find you a therapist, maybe one that specializes in grief therapy. I know you have a computer so start looking for one,and let us know how you are doing. This is a great place to get things off your chest.

In 32 years of working with grieving people, I’ve found it often takes two years for the reality of their loss to really settle in in the sense of fully grasping the magnitude of their loss. I think your dreams are your psyche acknowledging your reality. I’d only recommend outside help if you are not functioning well in areas of your awake life.

Um. Dreams and other symptoms of grief are natural, and are something everyone can relate to, I'm sure.

But two years on, if this is getting worse again or just hasn't got any better since your father's passing, it's time to ask for help. Has anything in addition happened recently that has left you feeling anxious or vulnerable?

((((Hug)))) perhaps you feel guilty if you werent there at the moment, maybe he chose to pass when you werent there if that was the case.....
Like timbuktu said- grief has no timetable and you have kept it all inside? Let it out and recognize the trauma you felt / feel... Maybe you have other stressors in your life right now that is bringing it out.... take a look inside . Therapy is also a great option - take care

Fruitlady1 You had been very cloce to Your Dad, and I know You Cared for Your Father with the greatest affection and Love. Now You are coming to terms with that natural sense of great loss, and though I know it is two years on, but remember there is no time limit to grieving. Consider it an act of great Mercy from The Lord that Your Fathers terrible suffering came to an End two years ago and now Your Dad is at peace with the Lord in Heaven and is Praying for You Fruitlady, and watching out for You, and one day many years from now You will come to meet Your Dad in Heaven but You have an awful lot of Living to do before then.

As you are hearing, this is not the least bit unusual. I'm sorry that the dream about your father was frightening--but again, not unusual.

I was with my daddy when he passed. He also had been in hospice care for while and I took care of him almost daily, to give Mother respite. His passing was one of the most sacred things I have ever experienced. I do dream about him now, esp. when I am stressed and sad. But these dreams are always sweet and comforting.

I hope you can get through this stage of grief and come out whole on the other end. It is a process with no set timeline.

Forgive yourself for not actually "being there" when he passed. Both my grandmothers passed "alone"---but I think in their case our constant presence kept them from that final "letting go".

((Hugs))

I left you a private message. This sounds like you need closure and it's understandable. This could also be what I call "the regrets" and you can apologize to your Dad from wherever you are.

Is it that your father passed while you had run home to get clothing? I was the only one with my mother and then later, my father because other family members had gone home for sleep. It happens.

Please do not allow anyone, even yourself, to make you feel guilty in any way, shape or form. You did your best and that is all anyone can ask of anyone.

Talk to your dad when you need to. Don't worry about what anyone else might say - there is nothing wrong with this.

I talked to my mother at her grave and asked her why she didn't tell me things that I was going to need to know in order to take care of my dad. I also asked her other questions. No, I didn't hear answers, but I felt better for the asking.

Mom came to me all the time, wanting to go shopping, in my dreams. After my father passed, I never saw her again in my dreams so I believe they are together again. Just FYI, dad lived another 7.5 years.

My husband died about 10 months ago. I dream of him often. Sometimes he is happy in my dreams. Sometimes I am happy, sometimes I am sad. The day after he died, I woke up and started to look for him. I forgot he was dead! I was still somewhat groggy from sleep. I was so frightened--I thought he had wandered out of the bedroom without his oxygen, and I needed to take care of him! Finally I realized that he was "safe" and didn't need oxygen any more so I could relax my anxiety. (I always worried that he would lose brain function without the oxygen.)
Then a few months later I dreamed that a doctor offered us a miracle cure if we would donate our eyes. Dick was always more willing to try new cures, so he plucked out his eye without hesitation. I was so scared and frightened. I wanted to follow his lead, but I also didn't want to hurt myself. I woke up still feeling the conflict between self injury and miraculous restoration of life.
Then a few months ago, I dreamed that Dick appeared to me. It was so realistic. I told him, "You have to come back and be with me." Dick seemed puzzled. "How can I be with you when I am dead?" I found myself arguing to persuade him. "I'd like you to come back and be with me until I myself die." He seemed willing but somewhat doubtful. Maybe he is now with me in my heart after all.
I do enjoy my dreams--even the dreams which are full of distress and sadness. After all, I shared distress and tears with my husband before he died. He died in his sleep in the living room where we moved him when he became bedridden. I sometimes regret that I wasn't with him when he passed away since I was asleep in the bedroom. The health care aide called me for help to change his diaper since he was strangely cold and stiff. That's when I realized he had passed away. It was what he wanted--to die peacefully in his sleep in his own home. But I did hug and kiss him before the funeral home took his body away.
I suggest you hug and kiss your father in your mind. I do believe his presence will always be with you. You are not alone. So many of us will lose friends and relatives as they age and come to the end of life. I do feel proud of you for arranging to stay with him at the end of life. I used to feel guilty that I didn't visit my mother in the hospital as often as she demanded. (She died in her sleep after she moved away.) You were on your way to be with him (getting your clothes). Don't worry--eventually you will be with him again.

As others have said, grief has no timetable and while the sharpness and intensity of loss often dulls and changes with time it never really goes away we just learn how to adjust life to the "new normal" of not having our loved ones with us physically anymore. They will always be with us and always be a part of us and our lives, something that can be both a blessing and a sorrow I guess. But I want to echo the sentiment that given your dad was in hospice care he was ill and his passing was likely a blessing for him. He had someone with him who obviously cared about him as well so try to let yourself off the hook on that. He may very well have chosen, consciously or not to go after you left in an effort to spare you his actual last breath as your last memory or perhaps it was too difficult for him to go when you were there but he needed to go, it was time for him and he was able once you were gone. Maybe the good night I'll see you later was the goodbye he wanted, needed over the goodbye his passing might have looked like. Maybe it's just the way it happened and there is no "reason" for his going in that moment. I know for me and my siblings the reason we would have someone with my mom or dad round the clock would be so they weren't alone both at the time of passing and while incapacitated not wanting them to wake up needing something and having to wait for a nurse or remember how to call them, he had that. The truth is he was obviously loved a great deal and knew it, it sounds like his passing was serene, not full of pain or turmoil and he absolutely felt full of your love in that moment, you being there physically wouldn't have changed anything for him so if that's weighing on you please let it go.

The dream's you are having may just be part of your grieving and one of those cyclical times that you are feeling his loss more. They say we use dreams to work out unresolved feelings so maybe whether or not you have consciously felt it or not a part of you feels some guilt over not being in the room and these dreams will help you work that out. If there is any part of you that feels like you might not be dealing with his passing well please do as others have suggested and seek out someone to talk to about it, professional or not. I suspect a part of you knows if you should be seeking out professional help but maybe talking to your step sister about it would be helpful, I mean providing you have a good relationship, close or not. But times of missing a loved one more or having his passing weighing on your mind more 2, 4, 10...yrs out doesn't seem unusual to me and while it's usually a fond memory that comes to me when I'm reminded of my grandfather for instance (I was very close to him) every so often I'm filled with tears and it's been over 30 years since he passed. In fact more than once I have been filled with thoughts of him one day for no particular reason I can think of that I can't shake only to realize days or weeks later that it was the anniversary of his passing. Maybe you have unresolved feelings about not being present when your dad passed and he is visiting you in your dreams to help you work that out by feeling those feelings you think you missed. Hope I said that right, I mean it in a positive way not a negative one, sometimes we need to feel, live the negative feelings or relive them to work them out and let them go. Maybe that's whats going on here. Whatever it is, don't let it stress you out more trying to analyze the reasons, follow your instinct, listen to your gut and go with it, let it play out and get whatever support you need just as you are by asking this question here. I have no doubt your dad will rest more peacefully if you are taking care of yourself.
Hugs