How do you keep boundaries?

Having one of those days where I want to cry. Talked with my dad and his help hasn't come out for 6 days because her back is hurt. He won't hire an agency bc they tell him what to do. Long story on all, but it still makes me sad. I was at a work event and he doesn't want to make me worry. It breaks my heart. I've ran ads at the university but he ran people off. He got my account on care.com cancelled bc of comments he made to interview candidates. He won't consider assisted living. Would rather die. I live 90 miles away. I make meals up for the freezer. I go at least once a month. I try to help, but I feel so frustrated he won't change or let some control away. It just breaks my heart and makes my stress level go up.