Complicated? I want to honor her wishes to be brought home, but I'm unsure how to do this.

For the past few years I have been taking care of my grandmother. After a separation, she asked me to move in and help her out (she has a two family she always kept for this reason). I cooked and did basic tasks for her, for the most part we lived a separate life until dinner. She really didn’t have a relationship with anyone in the family (as she can be, well… difficult), except my cousin, who I had asked for help with her financials (not only is he more patient then I am, I was afraid of repercussions from family in the future if I had any direct connection to financials).

About a year ago she had a stroke which quantified her dementia. I am her medical proxy and executor of her will. My cousin has power of attorney over a financial account (the main account). Since my cousin is young and at the time on unemployment, he took forefront in her care. After a while he became drunk with power and has since ignored all advice and recommendations from me. Including following my grandmother wishes.

Not only was her wish to be brought home, he has put her in an old age home, arguably a nice one, but it’s not a care facility. Now he wants to rent the house to help pay for the care facility (it’s really expensive), and may be day trading her money.

At this time, she needs 24 hour care, which I cannot afford. I want to honor her wishes to be brought home, but I’m unsure how to do this. Even to go visit is hard because I see a strong proud woman buckle and fall to tears when I enter. She looks disappointed and scared, but puts on a front for anyone else.

There is no talking, because there is money involved everyone distrusts everyone else. Not to mention my grandmother has a rare type of early onset dementia which caused her to be mean and paranoid most of her life, so she drove the family apart even more then we already were.

I am emotionally wiped out… Thank you in advance.