My husband was recently placed in a VA nursing home at his request. Who do I contact, and how do I gain access to any of his funds so I can continue to survive and support our 2 grandchildren?

Or contact the VA and ask to speak with the medical team handling his care, and the social worker for that team. I believe there's a method of creating a fiduciary capacity for the spouse, but I'm not familiar enough with it to offer solid advice.

I think (emphasize "think" as I'm not sure), that you might be entitled to alimony from his income, if you haven't worked and aren't able to. Are you still married, but he's refusing to provide care? That's within the purview of a family law (divorce) attorneys.

The grandchildren are a different story; I don't really know what his obligations would be but the VA does have provisions to extend care to dependents.

This could be a complex situation. If you see an elderlaw attorney, also see a family law attorney and contact the VA.

BTW, where are the grandchildren's parents? Are they involved at all in the care of the youngsters? If you're their legal guardian, that might make a difference in whether or not they can get support, but, again, I don't know how the VA treats grandchild support. It's worth checking out though.

Good luck.

It seems to me that you need to see a certified Eldercare Attorney asap.