My husband, age 65 this January, is a disabled Veteran and 17 years my senior. It is very obvious to me that something is very wrong and worsening over the past few years. He has many doctors but becomes angry with them after a visit or two then he never goes back. I am trying to care for him, as well as caring for my 25 year old son with autism. My husband, Michael is disappearing mentally right before my eyes and even puts my family in danger with his hostility. Where do I turn...? What do I do? I am all that the two of them have...and I'm failing. Someone help us.
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I think you'll have to find some way to tap into his medical and mental condition first to figure out why he's changing, or "disappearing" as you write. There's a reason, and it may be hard to find, but I'd focus on the military disability first.
What you can do could follow from what's happening to him, which apparently isn't something the family knows. Then you can use that as a starting point to determine where to go, what to do, who to hire (if appropriate).
Another option, if your husband has signed the VA version of a DPOA, is to contact his team leader and speak to the social worker for that team leader, asking for suggestions. You might suggest the disability as the cause, and the social worker may or may not correct you and offer additional information. Then you'd have some idea of what's going on.
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