I appreciate your situation and know it must be both frightening and challenging to continue as you are. You have been given great advice. Yours is a complicated situation that no doubt your state has ruled on before. When the situation has deteriorated to the point that you would contemplate divorce you need medical and legal advice for both you and your husband. Don't live in this situation without doing Everything you can to make it better but realize both of you have legal rights and deserve consideration. Don't neglect your own health. Coming here was a good start. It's good to vent but take action for the both of you. It's a two step like the phrase "Pray to God and Row to Shore."
In addition to getting him to him primary for a UTI check, you need to explain to this doctor that you can no longer care for him at home if this raging continues. It's not good for YOUR health to be in constant fear!
If no UTI, then he needs to be referred for a geripsych workup, perhaps in an inpatient behavioral unit or psych hospital. I know that this sounds like a nuclear option, but so many posters here have had great results with in-patient psych evals and medciation adjustments that it would seem a pity NOT to explore that option.
Of course, you also need to evaluate if it's time to get him into a facility.
Explore ALL of these options with his doctor, asap!
manatakei, if your husband is raging at you, that means he needs to see his primary doctor immediately. He could have an urinary tract infection that can be cleared with antibiotics. If it isn't an UTI, then the doctor can prescribe meds that can calm your husband down.
As for a divorce, your husband probably cannot agree to a divorce due to his dementia. A person needs to be able to understand the legal documents they are signing. Would he be able to do that?
I realize that being a caregiver for someone who has major memory issues is very difficult and quite frustrating. You need to understand how your husband is acting is not his fault..... you are in the line of fire because you are there. Love can be easily lost under such circumstances. I've read where husbands want to divorce their wives because the wife has dementia. It's such a sad situation. See what his doctor can do for him.
I think you need to consult with a Family Law attorney. Or perhaps an Elder Law attorney could explain various options of dealing with a spouse who has dementia.
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You have been given great advice.
Yours is a complicated situation that no doubt your state has ruled on before.
When the situation has deteriorated to the point that you would contemplate divorce you need medical and legal advice for both you and your husband. Don't live in this situation without doing Everything you can to make it better but realize both of you have legal rights and deserve consideration. Don't neglect your own health.
Coming here was a good start. It's good to vent but take action for the both of you.
It's a two step like the phrase
"Pray to God and Row to Shore."
If no UTI, then he needs to be referred for a geripsych workup, perhaps in an inpatient behavioral unit or psych hospital. I know that this sounds like a nuclear option, but so many posters here have had great results with in-patient psych evals and medciation adjustments that it would seem a pity NOT to explore that option.
Of course, you also need to evaluate if it's time to get him into a facility.
Explore ALL of these options with his doctor, asap!
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As for a divorce, your husband probably cannot agree to a divorce due to his dementia. A person needs to be able to understand the legal documents they are signing. Would he be able to do that?
I realize that being a caregiver for someone who has major memory issues is very difficult and quite frustrating. You need to understand how your husband is acting is not his fault..... you are in the line of fire because you are there. Love can be easily lost under such circumstances. I've read where husbands want to divorce their wives because the wife has dementia. It's such a sad situation. See what his doctor can do for him.