Having HC nurse help explain dementia but why do dad & brother refuse to grasp it? They treat my mom horribly-I do almost all caregiving, pay bills ,search for huge investments that are missing so hired CPA, I’m ready to file complaint re misssing investments but resigned to go to probate court when they pass if not before, as they refused to do any estate
Planning and now it’s to late, and I’m a lawyer certified in elder law now....no one should ever go thru what I’m going thru -I'm living a nightmare and there is no one else except for relatives that tried to scam them which I stopped. I had no choice but to give up working as no one person can do all this. It’s the worst situation ever -and I’ve developed health problems so please try not to let your family do this. But they refused to even tell me who they were writing checks to for 300,000 dollars .....I hate my life and what they have done to my last good years but I keep trying-really dread holidays and yes I’m depressed :) Not sure they have enough $ left for proper care and they started out with a lot, close to a million....then they went behind my back left it all to my bipolar bro reserving a life estate but never filed.....so 100s of acres may need to be sold for their care. It’s a personal, legal & care nightmare....and it’s killing me. So sad but each day I find strength to keep trying a problem at a time-got bro on disability plus 30k backpay. He won’t pay for anything and barely helps but can't kick him out as they left a beautiful home to him plus land & property....great..any opinions. ideas appreciated good or bad. I’m tough can take it :) Thanks. Maybe a new perspective will help me!
All I have is POA and that’s, in reality, about worthless and a continuing fight with banks-preparing to pursue guardianship/conservatorship-wish I could just walk away and never look back but my mom was the best mother ever and it’s her I have to protect and she doesn’t want to leave her home she designed...omg
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Despite knowing the answers it’s still family so thank you for your responses I really appreciate it-Parents were very secretive with money & investments an I am just trying to get things in order for CPA to take over ....there won’t be anything left after their care is paid which is what their assets are for-thanks to those that answered -it makes me dizzy that is well said :)
Can you place Mom in a facility? Speak with the HC nurse for her opinion. Be honest with her. She has to see what’s going on. Her first responsibility is to your mom.
If you live with these people, leave. Go apartment hunting, find a studio apartment you can afford. Live your own life and ditch all their drama.
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I don't think people realize how exasperating it can be to live around the clock with people who suffer with dementia. They can stay up all night, repeat things, fidget, make untrue statements, hide things, etc. It requires a lot of patience, understanding and diligence on the part of the family. If dad and brother don't have it, then I'd see what other arrangements could be made. Mom has to be protected.