Is asking for a financial accounting of our mom's money considered contesting her will? She is still living.

Is your mother receiving quality care in the nursing home where she is living? Are there things she needs and/or wants that she doesn’t have?

First, some clarifications. Is this stepbrother the executor or personal rep of his father's Will? Was there any trust created to provide ongoing or long term care for your mother? Have you ever seen the terms of this Will? And how do you know what funds are "her money"?

Second, what is your source? Is it on "information and belief", supposition, or based on what? What documentation do you have?

Third, from what you write ("step dad made her will with his"), the Will was joint. Was your step father's entire estate inherited by your mother when he died? Do you know if there were any assets he held that she didn't, and weren't inherited by her?

And do you know specifically what he left for your mother?

Fourth, you wrote the stepbrother/family "use moms money to pay all the bills. He will not provide any proof of how he spends her money". How is it that you know your mother's funds are paying "all the bills" w/o having any proof?

Fifth, and I don't know the answer to this specifically as I don't remember how joint Wills are handled in probate (maybe someone else here does), BUT, if your stepfather made specific bequests in his will for your mother's care, and if your mother's care is the subject of an ongoing care provision in their joint will, you might be able to contest the administration of your step father's portion of the Will. This is definitely a question for an attorney.

I'm not questioning your interpretations, but you're going to need documentation to support the accusations you're making.

Because of this and b/c your mother, as remaining testatrix (person who makes a will) is still living, and b/c she has Alzheimer's, you really need an elder law or estate planning attorney with experience in probate litigation to help sort this all out.

You could look for one in Hawaii, and that person would generally hire a local Washington attorney. The two then work together.

Call Adult Protective Services and report "suspected abuse of a vulnerable elder".

Call APS

In Washington you are contesting a will when you go to court when the will is in play, that is after that person has died. If you don't like what is going on now you take other steps but you are not contesting the will.

Unfortunately we live in Hawaii, they live in Washington State. Step dad made sure her only biological son had no rights! Mom has Alzheimers, and step dad made her will with his. Step brother promised he would take care of mom, and let her live in the house with them. They did not want to take care of her and threw her in a nursing home without consulting anyone. We want to contact Adult Protective Services and turn them in.