The smell is so horrible, that I can hardly be in the same room with her. She also refuses to brush her teeth or comb her hair. When I ask her to take a bath, she becomes saddened and offended. I ask her to comb her hair, she threatens to shave it off. She is able to work in her garden and walk the dog, so I think she's physically able to bathe. I don't know what to do. I bought a shower chair and changed the shower head to a hand held sprayer, and she still won't bathe (with the exception of a few special occasions). She is also refusing to go to the doctor. She denies being depressed, and her hygiene problem is not healthy as she leaves filth and grime everywhere she sits, including the toilet. If she catches me spraying or cleaning up after her, she gets angry and offended. She only retired a little over a year ago, and she was bathing and had excellent hygiene until about six or seven months. I've begged her, and then finally demand that she showers, but she still refuses. What is going on with her and how can I help?
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Retirement in and of itself can be a contributing factor to depression.
I would suggest ways of keeping clean, such as no shower/no rinse products, but it sounds as though she's segued into some anti-social behavior, almost as some kind of protest.
MaggieMarshall posted some good suggestions on keeping clean.
This is one of her posts, but it's not the one I was looking for. Still, it's helpful. And there are other hits as well that might be helpful.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mom-makes-excuses-for-not-bathing-170874.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/search.aspx?searchterm=MaggieMarshall, bathing
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I am never in favor of threatening vulnerable people. But you can speak to her and say that her hygiene may be impacting her health and that can be used as a way to declare someone incompetent. This is heartbreaking because the actual reality is that adults can choose to be filthy, if it is not impacting someone else (other than your very real concern) in the end, without some cooperation from her, you may not have any recourse.
Is there any way you can advocate an MD visit so you both can get flu shots? You can speak to the doctor prior to the visit to let him/her know your concerns.
Best of luck.
Margaret