Mom with dementia obsessing and paranoid about her bra....are there any solutions?

My Mom’s fixation with “the girls” started before she landed in the Nursing Home. She always bought the correct and same sized band. Her correct size was 36C long. But depending on her perception of her girls at varying times she would buy or attempt to wear anything from 36A to 36DD.  The fixation lasted 2-3 months. Then she was happy in a loose sports bra.

Yes there was definitely a fixation but there was a perception thing going on too.

I don’t have any advice, but the first SNF I worked in, 8 had a female resident who wanted her bra put under her pillow when she went to bed...I have no idea why, but got upset if I forgot..

Why not a front fasten bra with velcro? Check out buckandbuck.com/womens-clothing/underwear-and-socks/bras-panties/arthritis-bra

We went through the bra deliema with my mom for a few months (not as specific as it not snapping properly) but trying the different styles and sizes.
Then she seemed to just give up and wore tshirts under her ever present lounge jacket.
She didn't have dementia but was losing her posture and the bras fit different and so felt uncomfortable. Her back seemed to just crumble in her later years. But we didn't realize what the problem was at first.
Sometimes I think dealing with the issues of the aging body is confused. We haven't been there (to the degree of our parent) and don't realize the limitations or discomforts on the first pass of dealing with their complaints. The shift in the body shape is subtle but it progresses.
My care taking of an elder with dementia is my 91 yr old aunt. When she retired she exchanged her bra for a mans tshirt and a loose cotton oxford shirt. She so hated wearing a bra. She has large breast and her bras probably never really fit her well.
And yes I believe the problem with the bra will pass as her focus shifts. I like the idea of the catalog but also you might try taking her to a nice lingerie shop where she could get a fitting. She might enjoy that as an outing and find a style she really likes if your relationship and her condition allows.

myworld2017, one year I got to be on a first-name basis with all the staff of my local department store return desk. I tried to help my sisters with our mother as much as I could while also caring for my husband. Somehow I was put in charge of getting her some new bras. The old ones no longer had legible labels and we were positive the size she claimed to wear would be way too big. I bought several in a size down from that. They were too small. I discovered that my "figure" came from my mom. Very large rib cage, so a high circumference number, but very small boobs, so a low cup size. This is a very challenging combination to fit. Manufacturers assume that by the time you are that big around you no longer need training bras. Ha!

There was also the difficulty of her severe arthritis and her dementia. Getting something she could put on herself was what made me a familiar figure at the returns desk. Fortunately the main daytime lady had been in charge of her own mother's bras and just did the exchanges cheerfully. I also tried camisoles, sports bras, front clasp, pullovers, etc.

At least when she went to a nursing home there was someone to help her dress each day. But then the best thing happened! She didn't notice if they didn't put a bra on her. They stopped when she was bed-bound for a while, and never started up again! Hooray. At 94 and constantly cold, she always wore at least a shirt and sweater, sometimes a third layer. She didn't even own anything sheer. This flat-chested woman did not need a bra for support or for modesty. Wish we could have convinced her of that earlier.

Having my mother's shape I've learned that lesson for me. No bras. Sometimes a man's tank top underwear for a little extra warmth under a sweatshirt.

myworld2017, I'm not really suggesting this as a solution for you. If it is a dementia obsession you'll probably just have to wait it out. Often they go away or change over time. Just hope the next one isn't even more inconvenient!

My Mom worried about hers too. She wanted to wear it to bed so she didn't have to worry about trying to get it on the next day. Hers tended to cut into her so I put it on the last clasp and lossened the straps. At the home they didn't put it on her because she didn't want it. But she needed it so she wouldn't have skin to skin. She had problems with yeast rashes.

I can no longer do my bra up and for that and other reasons stopped wearing one. Now if I have to put one on i put it on with fasteners in the front, do it up and twist it round to the back then slip my arms in. Maybe Mom could manage that. The being afraid some thing will snap is another issue for which there probably is no answer for someone with dementia. I just have to be careful I don't trap my girls in the waistband. Handy when you go for a chest x-ray because you don't have to change into a gown. Win win!!!! Oh and it is a money saver too.

Next time she's in the shower, have a discreet but thorough look to check there isn't anything making her uncomfortable - not necessarily painful, but feeling "funny."

Worrying that something's going to snap, though... that's a puzzle! See if you can spot anything that might give her that sort of sensation.

Or it could be nothing at all and you never will get to the bottom of it, sigh :/

Most dementia patients have obsessions about something. I wonder if you brought a printed catalog in and let her pick out her own bra if she’d be ok with that. Worth a try!

Good question. My mother is 80 years young and cup size is 36 long (wink) so I bought her camisoles to wear under her gowns. Hard to put those girls in a cup at all. Treat dementia. Have her listen to music through the day. Video on Youtube Alive Inside. Amazing!! I have my mother watch musical videos on YouTube like Gaithers for the Southern gospel, but whatever you see creates a spark. Once you watch the video Alive Inside you will catch my drift and hopefully, few other things will fall into place. I bought the headphones for our trips to the doctor's office. Music storage of the brain is not affected by Dementia!!