My first thoughts were similar to CDN's - what is his mobility status? Has he recently become incontinent? Does he have hearing difficulty, or vision issues? What else has changed recently in his life? Any of those can interfere with someone's desire to be out of the house.
What were his interests during earlier years? My father did a lot of woodworking, designing and building complex structures. We both know he'll probably never pick up a drill again, but that doesn't stop him from still designing projects, or at least thinking about how to design them.
And like many men, he enjoys going to Man Caves. There's always something there to spur his interest (and mine, as I'm prefer them over women's stores).
Sometimes if you can trigger an interest, it opens the door for other activities.
Also consider the weather. If you're in a cold weather state, he has legitimate reason not to want to go out.
Does he use oxygen? That can be another deterrent.
Or, perhaps he just doesn't see the need to go out if he has what he feels he needs at home. Sometimes it can be hard for us to realize that we don't see our parents' worlds as they do, and they're perfectly content to remain at home.
What has he said when you've discussed this with him?
But do consider the hearing issue; if someone doesn't wear his/her hearing aids, communication is difficult, and the value of interaction becomes questionable.
I know dads can be stubborn. My dad was very independent up until his stroke at 81 years old. Is there a mobility issue? Fear of falling? Is it possible to bring people to your dad instead? I would often invite family over for dinner with my dad. And sometimes he would enjoy going out for a meal when I suggested it. If he truly is a homebody I might just let him be.
How about making it about you, as in "I want to go see the fall foliage over by city hall (or wherever)" , and just taking him along. Or look at his or your city's website and going to the seasonal tree lighting for the town, a youth theater thing, etc. Our county library system has a ton of things going on all the time, maybe yours does too? Time to check them out! I'd say any excuse to get out and about is worth it.
Are you looking for things for him to do independently? Maybe doing a few random things with you or another family member might help him get some confidence or enthusiasm going for the senior center? I hope so! Good luck!
What does he say when you invite him to lunch? How about when you say let's go visit a family member? How about when you say let's go for a ride? Or dad I got confused about where Pete used to live. Ride with me over there and see if I have the right place. Something that makes him feel useful. If you live near a harbor or construction site take him to just sit in the car or on a bench and watch the world go by. I recently figured out my aunt doesn't want to go anywhere someone will ask her questions. I found this out by accident but it explained some of her reticence in leaving her house. She had to sign some papers that only required she show her ID (and she knew the people). She had a great time. She doesn't want to go out but the minute she's in the car she is so excited to see familiar and new additions to her neighborhood. She will say you know I don't get a chance to go out often. Never mind that she doesn't want to go out. We have to entice her. Usually the first question is do I have to go. Tell us more about your dad and maybe we will have better suggestions.
4 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
What were his interests during earlier years? My father did a lot of woodworking, designing and building complex structures. We both know he'll probably never pick up a drill again, but that doesn't stop him from still designing projects, or at least thinking about how to design them.
And like many men, he enjoys going to Man Caves. There's always something there to spur his interest (and mine, as I'm prefer them over women's stores).
Sometimes if you can trigger an interest, it opens the door for other activities.
Also consider the weather. If you're in a cold weather state, he has legitimate reason not to want to go out.
Does he use oxygen? That can be another deterrent.
Or, perhaps he just doesn't see the need to go out if he has what he feels he needs at home. Sometimes it can be hard for us to realize that we don't see our parents' worlds as they do, and they're perfectly content to remain at home.
What has he said when you've discussed this with him?
But do consider the hearing issue; if someone doesn't wear his/her hearing aids, communication is difficult, and the value of interaction becomes questionable.
I know dads can be stubborn. My dad was very independent up until his stroke at 81 years old. Is there a mobility issue? Fear of falling? Is it possible to bring people to your dad instead? I would often invite family over for dinner with my dad. And sometimes he would enjoy going out for a meal when I suggested it. If he truly is a homebody I might just let him be.
ADVERTISEMENT
Are you looking for things for him to do independently? Maybe doing a few random things with you or another family member might help him get some confidence or enthusiasm going for the senior center? I hope so! Good luck!
How about when you say let's go visit a family member?
How about when you say let's go for a ride? Or dad I got confused about where Pete used to live. Ride with me over there and see if I have the right place. Something that makes him feel useful.
If you live near a harbor or construction site take him to just sit in the car or on a bench and watch the world go by.
I recently figured out my aunt doesn't want to go anywhere someone will ask her questions. I found this out by accident but it explained some of her reticence in leaving her house. She had to sign some papers that only required she show her ID (and she knew the people). She had a great time.
She doesn't want to go out but the minute she's in the car she is so excited to see familiar and new additions to her neighborhood. She will say you know I don't get a chance to go out often. Never mind that she doesn't want to go out. We have to entice her.
Usually the first question is do I have to go.
Tell us more about your dad and maybe we will have better suggestions.