Anxious of phone calls regarding elderly mother. Anyone else feel this way?

Great advice hugemom thanks!

There was a hit song decades ago “Que Cera, Cera”.or, whatever will be will be. We can take precautions to keep our loved ones safe, spend big time money on “nanny cams”, bracelets, necklaces, Babysitter’s and caregivers. That in itself brings some peace of mind. But, to be brutally honest, if it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen. It serves no purpose to dwell on “what if” and dread receiving calls because at some point, we are going to get “that call”. When mom was lucid and I visited and we had a wonderful visit, everything was great. And more than a couple times, I’d get a call saying she’d fallen a few hours after I left. I could not have prevented it. I just looked back to our visit and didn’t dwell on what happened after.

I went through this too when my father was ill. Every time the phone rang, I'd jump.
This is why I decided to get some help at home for my mother now, the peace of mind to know she's with someone who takes care of her is priceless, really. I don't know if you are able to arrange something similar but for me it's been a huge emotional help.

Warm wishes to you and your mom.

I feel the same way. You are definitely not alone. It's just something you live with, wish there was an easy answer. I cringe every time I see it's the nursing home call or even when it's just mom calling me I think something has happened. Wonderful that your mom uses the pendant take some reassurance in that.

How do we get over this or learn to accept it without being on edge all the time?

You are not alone. Hubby is bedridden in the family room. I sleep in the guest room which is right by the furnace closet. I always think I hear him calling me. He yawns very loudly and once he scared the living bejesus out of me. I always imagine I hear him calling. It’s not fun. I lose sleep over this too.

My mom didn't have an alert pendant until late in her life, but anytime I got a call from her number (particularly late at night or early in the morning) my heart would increase to about 200 beats a minute until I could hear what was happening. The worst calls would be when she would say, "Ann, I think I need to go to the hospital." Uh oh...instant dressing and running out of the house to get to her place. Mom died in May and I don't have a phone in my bedroom anymore since I don't have to worry about/wait for those calls. Each call added about 50 gray hairs on my head and took about 3 months off of my life, I'm sure.

Rising hand, YES. I know for my parents it didn't matter if they were still living at home and were mobile.... or when Mom was placed in long-term-care.... or when Dad had moved to senior living. Every time I saw the numbers on the Caller ID I would go into sheer panic, and was shaking when I answered the phone.

It's like waiting for the other shoe to drop !! Had terrible night sleeps. In fact, if I was able to doze off, I would awake in a start as I was sure I heard the telephone ring... I would check the Caller ID and there would be nothing.... so it was my brain being so stressed out :P

This is tough, as we have had zero training in this, and no mentor to help us along the way.