My Dad apparantly has the early stages of dementia but I can speak to him one day and the next he has no recollection what I said.

Hi Helen, it sounds like your dad is pretty depressed. My mom had atrial fib and just about zero short-term memory. She couldn't remember something five minutes later. She'd ask me the same question five times in five minutes. But she lived to 97.5 years and stayed stable mentally for those final 10 years or so. It depends on what's going on with your dad's brain. I never had my mom formally diagnosed, as it wouldn't have made any difference in her treatment, but she was able to live in independent living with a lot of help from me. She could dress herself and heat up the food I took her in the microwave. As long as she had a schedule, she did OK. Anything that deviated from her schedule threw her off course and she couldn't remember anything.

Your dad's most immediate problem is his giving up and that needs a doctor's attention and care. If his COPD and atrial fib are controlled, he could live for years in his current state. It sounds like he thinks he's gotten a death sentence. Has any doctor told him anything about his long-term prognosis?

I'm not sure what to think of a doctor who thinks a person suffering with dementia is responsible or capable of helping themselves. I might try to find a geriatric doctor who treats dementia patients. Are you the Healthcare POA?