I'm into my second year of this full time care giver role. Taking mom out of the house is always a project. But shopping ( anywhere) is her thing. I'm more aware now of how many people, usually women give me that understanding empathetic look. Sometimes it's a whisper in my ear of "I know I've got mine at home." Mom can be very rude in public and it's so embarrassing. So I just want to say, if it was you that shot me that look of support, thank you!
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At 97, my Mom with dementia was in an assisted living facility for Memory care. I couldn't bare to leave her alone on Christmas so my husband and I picked her up and brought her to a hotel casual restaurant. (Couldn't bring her home due to access). The staff and restaurant server at this hotel, three cheers for them. We were greeted with Merry Christmas' from all. The waiter was so-o-o patient and she was treated with such respect. Mom still had a GREAT singing voice so before we departed I quietly suggested that we sing 'we wish you a Merry Christmas' to the team. She belted it out and they joined in. I still have that memory of her last Christmas.
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I can not describe how disappointed I felt and I blasted and used every curse word I could think of on my way to collecting Mom. After about 15 minutes Mother was escorted out to Our motor car by two Nurses and two attendants. My first words to Mom were WELL MOTHER IM SO DELIGHTED TO BE BRINGING YOU HOME, BECAUSE I MISSED YOU, and I will never forget the over joyed smile on Mom's face as She said to the Nurses WELL ISNT THAT A LOVELY WELCOME TO RECEIVE. Thank The Lord We were very good together, and I can say truthfully We never had any awkward moment's. Carers remember when You are out in Public with the Person Who You Care, You are being observed, monitored, by Others Who do not have an inkling of an Idea of how difficult it can be to Care for another Person. Finally it takes a very special Person to Care for another Life, and never forget how special You All are.
Although it doesn't always resolve the issue we are having personally, it is SO SO SO SO comforting...no, helpful...., not quite right, steadying....yea that's it! to read others in the same boat, struggling with the same issues and stressed about the same things. Maybe we each aren't all on our own island afterall. Thank you for this forum all of you special, incredible and amazing caregivers in your many forms....daughters, sons, wives, husbands, whoever you are including professionals!!! You've been my life saver more times than I can count. God speed to all of you and we WILL get through this and be OKAY. You're doing a fabulous job!
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