My mom has dementia and is always complaing and not happy with anything anyone does for her. Any suggestions?

I am soul caregiver for my father who has dementia and lives with me. He is a total Negative Nelson, is dissatisfied with anything done to fix a problem, does not appreciate anything done for him, etc. l was told that self-centered thinking is part of dementia. It's one of the things I struggle with most because I try so hard and I always feel like it's not enough. I know it's not me, but I feel like it is a lot of the time.

We have this problem as well in my family. My mother will occasionally say "thank you' for things that are done for her, but has these shifts where she accuses my father of not ever doing anything for her--even on days when he's gotten up at 6 a.m. to get her a scented candle she has to have that minute from the grocery. He describes it like her hitting a patch of ice in her mind that runs through the "Nobody does anything for me" narrative.

Thank you all for your help. Does anyone else have this problem to?

Do your parents have too much income, or too many assets to qualify for Medicaid? And who gave you this information?

You need to invest some of your parents' funds in a consultation with a CERTIFIED eldercare attorney who understands Medicaid law. Too much income can be taken care of with a Miller Trust; too many assets requires a spenddown on their care.

If your mom can’t make a polite and kind request, don’t do what she’s asking. Tell her you can wait until she rephrases the request to make it sound less like an order. Look at her and say “Please”for her st the end of her orders.

I’ve been advised to check out a Miller Trust to qualify for benefits. You may want to google it. You need help and it’s time to get on the Internet to see if you can find any.