Can I get assistance for my wife who is going to need memory care?

Yes, if you served during war time as defined on the VA website, you can get some assistance for her if you qualify financially. Call the VA, check out their website.

NO I am a vet

You posted this under Veteran's Assistance. Is she a vet?

WoodieWood, contact your State Medicaid office [which is different from Medicare] to see if your wife could qualify for the medicaid program. Medicaid will pay for any nursing home care that accepts the medicaid program.