My father, 92, and his wife, 95 are in an apartment and my brother lives close by. He is Dad's POA. How do I coach my brother in what to do?

Keep the lines of communication with your brother open. Work to support your brother’s decisions while being aware that essentially those decisions of his as POA don’t need your approval either way.

One of your parents thought he would be a good choice as their POA. You don’t know what you don’t know yet. Your brother may have everything in control financially but not know what to do if one of his parents get ill. Some family members are financial wizards but don’t know anything about Medical/health issues.

Discuss whether your parents have Advanced Directives or DNR. Ask if their funerals are prepaid.

Support you brother in his decisions. Since he has been POA, has he proved trustworthy in working with your parent’s needs?

As POA he isn’t required to share specifics on whatever assets they have.
Sounds like your brother has been a good POA so far. It also sounds like you two have a decent brother/sister relationship going. That’s a good thing! Hopefully going forward that bond will only be strengthened. 
Good luck to you!

Thank you for the welcome back, Freqflyer.... how good to be missed. My step-mom (they've only been married about 10 yrs or so) has her own POA, so we haven't given her much thought except that now we need to, I'm sure. To see how everything will play out... And yes, vstefans... I have told my brother he needs to get to a library and start learning to use the computer there and visit this website. It is a lifesaver. Typing doesn't come easy for him. It's a little unsettling thinking about how this is all going to play out, so I'm trying to get him/us as prepared as possible.

Usually you need two POAs - one financial and one healthcare. Dad gets to decide who gets which as long as he is legally competent. Maybe you can be alternate POA if brother cannot do those duties when they are needed. He might or might not need to agree to resign as POA if that happens. Maybe you can brother to get into our group here.

Hey Jocelyne, it's been awhile since I have seen you on the forum. Welcome back.

Since your brother is your Dad's Power of Attorney, he really needs to know your Dad's financial background, that way he can plan ahead if Dad need Assisted Living or a Skilled Nursing Facility. If Dad hadn't saved for all these "rainy days", then your brother would need to get Dad into Medicaid [which is different than Medicare] to help with the expense of extended care in a nursing home that accepts Medicaid.

How is your Step-mother? Who is her Power of Attorney? Your brother would need to talk with your Step-mother's POA should anything happens to your Dad and Dad needs a higher level of care. Step-Mom probably cannot be left alone, so her POA would need to step in with a plan.

I realize all of this will be overwhelming for your brother, it's overwhelming for anyone. As long as your brother knows you are there to help him on this journey via telephone, that would help him feel more secure.