jrockfitness Asked December 2017

My mother became jaundice in early November. Along with the jaundice came pale stools, dark urine and a sketchy appetite. Any advice?

She absolutely refuses to see a doctor, even a home visit doctor. At times she is so out of it too. Because if her stubborness, I started her on Tumeric, Milk thistle and other vitamins. She even stopped smoking oddly enough. The herbal protocol seemed to help a bit as her stools and urine actually returned to normal although the jaundice is still there. But now the last few days she barely eats, refuses the vitamins claiming she has a difficult time swallowing and keeps saying that everything just “lays on her stomach” I cook, clean, take care of the animals, quit my job, about to lose my car, go in massive credit card debt and I’m ready for a nervous breakdown. On top of all this, I’m fairly newly married and my husband is getting zero attention. I have literally no family but for a few relatives in Florida and Im in NY. I’ve never been so scared. Her good spirits are there and she talks about doing a lot of things “as soon as she gets better” but how is she gonna get better if she’s not proactively doing anything to try. I love my mom so much and this is killing me.

59 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

I think you need to speak plainly to your mother.

If she won't see a doctor, you can't make her and neither can anyone else. But if you just play along with her bullsh*t and she dies, how will you be left feeling? This is NOT FAIR on you!

It may be that she knows full well how ill she is and just doesn't want to talk about it. Well, that's her choice too. But she can have the honesty to tell you at least that much truth, instead of treating you like you're some kind of idiot who can't see what's going on under her nose.

How do you know about the stools, by the way? Is your mother giving you this kind of detail? Because if she is, she's perfectly happy to share the gory details - just not with anyone who might be able to help.

In your position I would make some calls and get professional advice. You can try your own doctor, APS, the nearest health centre or walk-in centre: you tell them what has been happening and ask them what you should do.

Helpful Answer (10)

Just took her to the hospital by ambulance. Prayers please. Thank you to everyone.

Helpful Answer (9)

StacyB thank you SO much for your incredible support and love. It absolutely helps knowing how many people are rallying around me in love and support. My husband has been an incredible source of strength. Thank God I took her in. We’re waiting on the test results so I will post as soon as I know something. Even though she’s obviously very sick at the moment her personality is still shining. Thank you again for your prayers and support. I really hope I saved my moms life xoxo

Helpful Answer (9)

Rock,adding my prayers to everyon else's. When you first posted your question I knew the outcome would not be good but it was so important for you to get her to the hospital.
You would have been even more devastated if she had suddenly died at home and would have forever blamed yourself for not getting her help sooner.
You did all the right things. When she began to show the symptoms it was long past time when anything could have been done to save her. I imagine there were lots of things in the past few weeks she had been feeling but did not want to worry you.
This is going to be hard it always is but be comforted that she is pain free and getting the best possible care right now. As others have said take care of yourself and just be there for her. It is not unusual for a loved one to wait till they are alone before they pass so if that happens don't feel guilty about that Mom wanted it that way. Many hugs

Helpful Answer (9)

Definitely, please call 911 now if you haven't already. You surely wouldn't want someone listening to your irrational reasons not to see a doctor if you were bleeding from the nose and mouth, etc. Hope your Christmas ends up with your mother getting the medical attention she needs. God bless you.

Helpful Answer (8)

I'm sorry you are going through this. It's horribly hard when a parent refuses to cooperate to keep themselves in good health.

Jaundice can be from a lot of different causes;
alcohol abuse, liver infection, liver cancer,
cirrhosis, gallstones, hepatitis, pancreatic cancer, parasites in the liver or an overdose of a medication like acetaminophen (Tylenol).
(Healthline.com)

Your mom may be in denial about her condition or doesn't want to face bad news. Unfortunately you can't force her to get treatment. She may become confused due to the buildup of toxins. Possibly you could get her to the hospital if that happens.

Is it possible that she may already know what's wrong and she doesn't want to worry you about a potentially fatal disease?
Was/is she an alcoholic or drinks heavily?
Does she have any abdominal swelling or pain?

Ask her to get checked for YOUR sake, to make sure her "problem" isn't contagious. You certainly don't want to become infected also. All of these liver illnesses are serious.

You'll need to give some attention to your husband so your marriage doesn't hit the rocks. There's only so much you can do if your mom doesn't want help.
Don't ruin your life because she's refusing treatment. Good luck.

Helpful Answer (7)

I'd call 911 and have them look at her.

Paramedics can be extremely persuasive and at least you have it on record that you tried to get her care.

Helpful Answer (7)

Jrockfitness,
So glad to hear she's at the hospital. I doubt whether she'll refuse anything there. Hopefully you'll have a Christmas miracle.

May the Lord give the doctors the insight to treat her properly and may she be completely cooperative. May all turn out well.

Helpful Answer (7)